Kick the Can Down the Road?

What do we do with a heart so sad and scared that we hardly know how to stand under the weight?  What do we do with well-meaning advice to Buck up, my friend! or You just need to trust God!  It’s NOT that easy!  When a heart is bruised and broken, when the pain is crushing, and all but too great to bear – that IS when we are cast upon the rocky shore of keeping on!  What is a Christian to do with such a heart at such a time?  Denial kicks that painful can down the road for a short time perhaps but does nothing for the ole achy, breaky heart!

A game dredged from long ago memory is Kick the Can.  It’s a poor man’s Kickball!  Any metal can will do, and it’s played with two teams kicking the can and then running the bases to score runs baseball style.  Like most other games involving skill and balls, I certainly didn’t shine.  I didn’t even care all that much about shining!  I’d much rather read a book or watch others play.  It’s more difficult to handle life as a kick-the-can exercise.  There is no comfort in kicking a painful can down the road!  There is no closure in kicking the pain away temporarily only to have the waves of grief and pain plummet the heart and soul all over again in short order.

 What if some well-meaning someone counsels:  You just need to live in the truth that God is in
control and trust Him.  That is a very true statement, but it’s a process hard won in the daily battle with pain and loss!  It’s a terrible burden to dump such a seemingly self-righteous platitude on shoulders already slumped under the heavy burden of unexpected loss or the burden of constant barrage and assault. How is such counsel helpful to the grieving child whose parent is dying?  How is such advice helpful to a parent suddenly thrust into the world of special needs with their child?  What good does it do to speak such words in the face of devastating loss and even death?  What help does such a quick prescription offer in the midst of unrelenting, bone-wearing care-giving?  The blanks to fill in are almost endless and tailor-made for each individual sorrow.

Scripture has at least two examples of this sort of spiritual (?) admonition in the face of unrelenting, heart-deep suffering:  Job’s friends (Job 16) and the man who was born blind (John 9).  Job’s friends did come to sit in the town dump on top of the ashes with him, but they offered little in the way of REAL comfort and even implied that somehow Job must deserve his plight.  The man born blind received his sight when Jesus healed him, but some asked, Who sinned – this man or his parents – that he was born blind?  NICE! With friends like that………….

There is one more instructive Biblical example of desperation:  the father whose son had overwhelming special needs in Mark 9.  Dad is desperate for help and comes to Jesus as his last hope.  He begs Jesus to help – not even sure Jesus can.  He says, If you can do something for my son …   Jesus assures Dad that He can and will help.  Dad grasps at that glimmer of hope and says, Lord, I believe you can and then just as quickly falling back into despair that still clutches at the hope Jesus offers, Help my doubt! (Mark 9:24)  That may be all there is, but it is enough because of the One we come to for help and hope:

Help, God—the bottom has fallen out of my life! Master, hear my cry for help! … Listen to my cries for mercy.   -- Psalm 130:1-2, MSG

We don’t need to kick the can down the road! 

Running on Fumes!

Are you a care-giver for someone with special needs - your child, spouse, friend or other?  If so, you know exactly what I'm talking about - running on fumes!  There's just not much left to give!  Respite or relief seems too far away to get there on the fumes. You begin the day more weary than you ended yesterday!  The days blur as they run one into another.  The needs remain the same or become greater.  It's just plain hard, and there's no gas in your tank!

The details are unique to your situation.  I don't have a special needs child in my home.  I do have a mother who lives many states away with rapidly advancing Alzheimer's. I am certainly not on the frontlines involved in her care. But, I do a LOT of care-giving!  That's what most of my life is about.  That's especially hard when there are only fumes in the tank. So, I get that part!

As a pastor's wife, I can't hide from people needs. My heart won't let me! Believe me that I have LOTS of stories of care-giving over the years.  Some of them are pretty messy! Some are short; some are VERY long!  Often there is no one else to help shoulder the need for even a little while!  And, always there's that running on fumes thing!

People talk about boundaries - healthy ones!  That's great, but once you or I are signed on for duty especially care-giving, there are few options beyond just doing what needs to be done even when you're running on fumes! Tired is a reality but quitting or just checking out to rest may not be an option for many care-givers.  The needs that require care-giving don't take a vacation!  They just keep coming day in and day out.

I don't have the answer for the running on fumes thing!  And, I have struggled for 5 days with how to end this post!  That's how low I am running on fumes!  THEN this morning it came to me:  even Jesus came to the running on fumes part.  That was when He knew He had to recharge/refill so He would trudge off and up a mountainside to be alone and pray!  He didn't have disposable time to go on a retreat or something.  People needs pressed Him on every side all day every day!  He sacrificed more and went without sleep to get alone and pray!  But, the end result was that His Father supplied the fumes problem every single time.  He will do the same for me and you!

News Flash! Care-Giving is Hard - Breakfast Menu!

I'm not much for breakfast except for several cups of coffee!  Growing up my dad believed in eggs (scrambled) and milk.  It's possible I was born hating both!  Caveat: I'm not the shiniest penny in the pocketbook apparently!  The number of mornings I sat (under duress) at the breakfast table long after everyone else was gone looking at cold scrambled eggs and warm milk. Both were much worse at those temperatures, but stubbornness won over smart! However, that's a tale for another day!  The point is I love bacon but not eggs!

There is a significant difference between the contribution of the pig and the chicken!  The hen is involved to lay an egg but continues to be capable of making that contribution to the menu day after day.  The pig is committed as the bacon comes at great cost to the pig!

In my family we are committed to taking care of my mother at home despite her increasing and pretty severe dementia!  She isn't easy to care for as she still knows enough to want to be in a different place in life!  I think that goes to the bone! 

I have four sibs.  One of them is a big pig in this process. Another is a smaller pig in the process. The other two are involved in the process, Then, there's me!  I care! I call! I pray! I send cards, but I am very far away!  Another sib is also pretty far away so we get to be "on-site" only occasionally. Both of us - actually all of us - have very busy other lives!

One sib has Mother in her home 24/7 almost (except for the weeks Mother goes to my brother's home for holidays, vacation times for my sister's family, and for a few miscellaneous reasons).  She has significant help in care-givers who come in every day. This sister has the best "set up" in her home to care for Mother. My sister has a self-contained apartment which was added to her home when she cared for her husband's parents until they went to heaven. But, it IS 24/7 being the pig on this breakfast menu. Then, there's me - almost not even a chicken in the process!

In many ways, care-giving for a disabled loved one is a pig job! It's very hard! There is a cost. It is a choice, but it's also being hands on 24/7!  Big time love fuels that commitment, but it doesn't mitigate the hard!

My brother too is amazing in that he takes almost every Tuesday to spend the day caring for Mother in my sister's home. He has a consulting business which requires his flying to Washington DC from Greenville SC for one client two days every week. He's definitely at least a little pig in this process!

It hurts my heart increasingly to be so far away!  I see the toll and the pain for the care-givers. I love Mother! I love them too!  It's not a "job" you don't take home! It's always there!

I know other care-givers who live the same committed life, and I marvel!  Here's to all the "pigs" who give care to a loved one with very special needs!  Here's to all the "hens", but the biggest shout-out goes to the "pigs"!  Thank you from the bottom of my heart especially to my sibs!

Guess Who’s Coming to Tea!

I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day! When I was six years old, I wanted to give a Valentine Tea. I made and sent invitations to some of my mother’s special friends.

I used Mother’s silver teapot, creamer and sugar bowl. I put her lace tablecloth on the dining room table with lace trimmed napkins and pretty china. I made special tea. I made heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  I put them on a pretty silver tray.  

The invited guests all came. Some even wore hats and furs to make it special. They drank the tea and ate the little sandwiches and declared it was a wonderful time! Through my six-year-old eyes, it was magical!*

Once (ages and ages hence as Robert Frost said) I planned another Valentine tea. I invited a bunch of moms and daughters to another Valentine Tea. I went all out with decorations, food, planned activities including making each little girl a special apron to wear to decorate the heart-shaped cookies I had ready.


This time the invitations were fancier. There were many more invited guests. I polished my own silver teapot, creamer, and sugar bowl. I cleaned and decorated my house. I put on a pretty Valentine sweater and waited for the guests to arrive. The time came and went, and no one came! Finally one mom and daughter showed up. No one else came. No one else even called. That was it! We had our tea for three instead of 23.

What if my six-year-old self had made and sent the invitations, set the table, polished the silver, made the heart-shaped sandwiches and put on my prettiest dress all ready for the guests to arrive? What if no one came?

The truth is that only one of the other 10 moms and daughters who were invited even bothered to contact me after the fact to say something came up not any emergency – just something trivial.

WHAT IF NO ONE had come to my second Valentine Tea?  What would I have done then?  WHAT IF I had picked up my phone and started making phone calls to the invited guests?  WHAT IF one mom after another gave an excuse especially some silly excuse WHY she and her girl couldn’t come? WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE THEN?

A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. ¹⁷ At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, “Come, for everything is now ready.”

¹⁸ But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, “I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.”

¹⁹ Another said, “I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.”

²⁰ Still another said, “I just got married, so I can’t come.”

²¹ The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, “Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.”

²² “Sir,” the servant said, “what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.”

²³ Then the master told his servant, “Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full.”     – Luke 14:16-23

About that second Valentine Tea, I’m wondering how those guys in the group home a few blocks away would look in cute little Valentine aprons? OR how some of the guys and gals at the City Mission would take to heart-shaped sandwiches? Well, maybe not so much, but maybe I should plan for them the next time! Just sayin’ – You just never know who might be coming to the Tea Party!

*I have a very, very special mother who was willing to allow a six-year-old who thought she was pretty grown-up to attempt a Valentine’s Tea mostly on her own. It was the kind of freedom and encouragement that largely made me the grown-up person I have eventually become!

 

 

On a scale of 1 to 10.........

I know just how you feel!
Did you ever let these words pass your lips? We might think we know, but there's NO WAY we can get that far under a person's skin and into their heart!
A friend who lives in a power chair told me recently, Nobody knows how hard it is to be this disabled! And she is that disabled with a disease she didn't ask to have, was born with and knows is progressing rapidly. NOBODY - I mean nobody - can know how SHE feels even someone else in somewhat similar circumstances.
The thing about pain is that it's a lonely business! We can't share! I have my own pain stories. I know how many times I have wished (probably not on my most spiritual days) to "zap" someone else with my pain so they could see how intense it is.
Just in the last few days another friend said, Everyone has their own problems! She was feeling the intensity of the pain in her life. 
There is no meter to measure one person's pain against another person's pain. This isn't bridge where one card can trump another. This is real life lived on the razor's edge!
I absolutely hate to answer the question that doctors and nurses love to ask, On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain? I think the question is totally useless as every person/patient handles and perceives pain differently, and there's no factor for that fact. There have been times when my physical pain was so intense that I wanted to answer 15!
There is a story (which I thought was attributed to D.L. Moody but the web says either Persian proverb or unknown and the picture another source) about a man who had no shoes and felt very sorry for himself until he met a man who had no feet. It's all about perspective! It's all about who's inside the pain! And, clearly, some pain is worse than other pain! Having a baby or a kidney stone or an attack of pancreatitis are infinitely more painful than a sore throat. But, that being said, the person with the sore throat doesn't have a kidney stone so the sore throat is the pain of the moment.


And no, you don't know how I feel and I don't know how you feel! What matters is whether you and I care more about someone else's pain than our own!

O, by the way, I had time to write this blog post just now because I got a pain reprieve from the dentist. I was supposed to have 2 fillings today but the dentist office has no electricity! Darn! :o)

The Road Less Traveled - Care-Giving

By "default" and choice she and he became care-givers 3 years ago (almost!). They took a little old man and a little old lady (who they loved very much) into their home. The little old couple were tenaciously clinging to their mountain home - tip-top, 3-story, "isolated" location up and down a winding road and 10+ miles to shopping, church, etc. That wasn't a good thing! It was dangerous in so many ways! It was way past time for a new season in life!

The little old man has gone to heaven, but the lady lives on in her own reality most of the time. She has pretty severe Alzheimer's! She's not easy to care for. She gives non-compliant new meaning. She can't remember that her life partner with whom she shared a rare and beautiful love for over 70 years is gone - at least not for more than a few minutes. Sometimes she can't even remember how to sit in a chair. So, care-giving is pretty intense!

Recently I had a front row seat on this action. I was amazed! NOT at how difficult this care-giving reality is tho' it's all that and a bag of chips! NOT at the unrelenting 24/7 immersion in care-giving even with respite support from aides and at least one sibling one day a week and monitors and friends! NO! What amazed me from the top of my head to the soles of my feet was the unconditional love poured out in that home hour after hour, the patience, the joy in the serving! It is a beautiful thing!

Care-givers are a special "breed"! It's usually a life that happens! It is intense! It is often lonely! It is heart and hand exhausting! It is taking the road less traveled! It is walking the servant path!

My front row seat overwhelmed me as I watched love in action - cleaning body fluids, patiently waiting and helping and doing. selflessly being a servant for a day and then getting up tomorrow to do it all over again and more beside - a list too long to name!

She said to me recently, Any of us would have done this just the same. I had to honestly say, NOT ME! I think I would have crashed and burned long before now! I can hardly wrap my mind around all the sacrifices - trust me - they are HUGE!

This is uncommon service with uncommon love and commitment down a path less traveled all to the glory of God and for love of a mother (and father)! I pray and marvel and help in such small ways but I'm not in the daily trench finding strength for each moment! I'm left whispering, To God be the glory and a huge thank you! He and she are my hero servants! Thank you for showing me Jesus as you walk this less traveled path!

In a Quiet Home on a Quiet Street .........

Breakfast Tuesday morning, February 19, 2013 in a quiet home on a quiet street - two people were sitting at their kitchen table - a little "old" man and a little "old" woman. Suddenly their mentally ill 26-year-old grandson appeared behind his grandmother and stabbed her with a Bowie knife leaving her dead. He said the Archangel Michael told him to do it.
That little "old" man and his little "old" wife happen to be friends of ours. We came to know them at a time of real crisis in life and ministry for us! They reached out with heart hugs and more! They truly cared!
That's one reason my friend - that little "old" lady - is in heaven today! They truly cared! They cared for a daughter and grandson who needed a live-in family. They cared for their larger family. They cared for the family in the church the little "old" man pastored. They cared for people - peers - like us who needed a friend to help bear a heavy burden! They are/were the REAL deal!
About a year ago I was teaching one morning and heard a voice going by in the hall. It sounded like my friend. As soon as class was over I went looking for her. I found her at the copy machine doing one of the things she did best - helping!
As we talked I discovered that one of the most adorable boys I've ever taught - who was then in one of my Latin classes - was another grandson - smart and "cute as a bug in a rug"! How cool is that?!
But, back to the other grandson........ also very, very smart (possibly brilliant) but very conflicted and tortured by forces that mentally and emotionally are destroying him from the inside out! He is a special needs individual with pretty huge issues - his life on a downhill spiral - and now caught, trapped by his own twisted mind into doing the unthinkable and irretrievable!
We live in a terribly broken world and we are ALL broken! Most of us don't manifest our brokenness like this young man. One of the tragedies of this story is that some things are never going to be fixed in this life - no matter how hard we try! It's that brokenness thing!
This little "old" man courageously went public in a television interview soon after this tragedy took place. He wants to raise awareness for special needs families! He wants to "make a difference" for other families and individuals impacted by special needs (disability)! So he and his daughter shared their pain!
It may well be too late for this grandson. It is definitely too late for this grandmother though she is now in a much better world where there are no more tears, no more pain, no more brokenness of any kind!
We never know what goes on in quiet homes on quiet streets - the tears, the pain, the brokenness! We can determine to make a difference - even if we only take baby steps - to reach out with heart hugs and more! That's what the world around us needs NOW while we wait for that day Jesus promised when He said, I am making all things new! (Rev. 21:5)

A Word is A Word is A Word!

Words do matter! Word choices matter! It matters if the hearer thinks one definition and the speaker has another meaning in mind! NOT much communication happens in that case!
Recently Dr. James Dobson featured on his radio program a couple who discussed "Raising a Handicapped Child."
Handicapped ...... Special Needs ....... Disabled ........... Affected by Disability ...... and more. Which is the best practices term?
No criticism intended or implied to either Dr. Dobson or Focus on the Family or the couple interviewed - just some personal observations related to my journey in disability ministry:

• In the last six years my thinking has undergone a radical transformation in relation both to individuals affected by disabilities, to myself in relationship to them and to HOW and WHY and WHEN the Church of Jesus Christ should and must work out the mandate to be inclusive to all!
• Luke 14:12-14 is the core passage from Scripture which addresses this concern. AND the fact that Jesus spent almost His entire ministry hanging with just such individuals is both inescapable and compelling as a mandate!
• Terms matter - What is the best term to use for this discussion? Frankly I'm still studying on that one. To quote a famous someone, my thinking is "still evolving" evaluating terms and process related to special needs ministry.

Some years ago I read an article in a publication from a nationally known special needs ministry. They actually prefer and advocate "affected by disability." The article described the difference between "handicapped" and "disability." I have never forgotten the distinction:

We are ALL handicapped in one way or another. To use the article's example - I am 5'5" tall. It is impossible for me to reach the top of my kitchen cabinets without some assistance. That assistance may come in the form of a chair or stool or climbing up on the counter top or even something else. I overcome my handicap with a "tool" intended to increase or augment my height.

A disability is a lack of function in life which may be physical, mental, emotional or even spiritual. We are all disabled in one way or another if we generally include "brokenness" as a qualifying category. There is wisdom, however, in having a "best practices" term related to individuals dealing with the wide range of physical, mental and emotional diagnoses or "labels" (for want of a better term). There is significant discussion about hidden disabilities in this "field." We all have hidden disabilities in the sense that all of us are broken in one way or another until Jesus makes all things new on an awesome future day! But I think we need to be careful not to appear to minimize the HUGE pain experienced by individuals and families whose lives are affected by disability 24/7 with real diagnoses and needs.

I don't pretend to know the precise best practices term. I leave that determination to minds much senior to mine in pay grade. What I do know is that there needs to be open discussion about words related to describing disabilities so we communicate without doing harm! My friend Dr. Steve Grcevich of Key Ministry recently blogged his own thoughts on this very subject.

The ultimate goal is to find and use terms that are inclusive, respectful, clear, person first, relational and effectively communicative because words DO matter! There are far too many wedge words in life for the church before the watching world not to take the meaning of words seriously!

Another Day

I'm sitting a long way from home very tired in a home finally gone quiet and still. It has been a very long day filled with many things. I am helping my sister care for my parents this week. They are both frail and needy. It is not always easy. My sister is a trophy of God's grace as she lays down her life sacrifically for them. I'm just following in her train trying to be a second pair of hands.
There may be other words that describe those we love who have various levels of function that create needs that are special because no one presents entirely the same. Personally I like special needs. My parents both have special needs - different but equally necessary to lovingly care for them! They were neither one born with these issues - physical, mental and more. Each struggles with broken minds and bodies in this season of life. Life has brought each to a place he and she would never have chosen.
It is bitter sweet and I knew when I came that it would be. It will be a sweet memory that I had these days to love and serve them. It is also "bitter" to lose two wonderful people who have been my world in many ways and to lose them inch by inch. Their issues will not be fixed this side of heaven. Their needs will increase as time moves on until one day each crosses over to that eternal world where there is no more pain, where broken minds and worn-out, disease-ravaged bodies will be restored.
Well, the clock is striking hour 23 and tomorrow is another day...................!

Spell or Live?!

This week I read something by a person involved with disability both personally and in ministry - have no clue who as I read a lot these days. In the piece this person spelled stimming as stemming. Being the grammar/spelling queen that I am, my first response was a little "aha!"!
You know what? I don't like this part of me very much and I hope the process of sanctification is gradually whittling away the rough edges and even the heart of my "aha!" responses even if I hide them!
Just this morning I chanced upon stim in a wonderful blog post by the mom of a grown son with a disability - http://specialhappens.com/2012/06/01/a-view-in-the-mirror-a-familys-turn/?
The word reminded me of the other day. Once again - to my shame - I had another "aha!" that this person spelled stim correctly. What a stupid focus!!! Yes, that's exactly what I thought about my own heart and response!
In both cases the stem mom and the stim mom were talking about the same thing*: Both were talking about life as they live it!
Who in the world do I think I am to insert my little "Mrs. Editor" self into their world? It doesn't matter how a word is spelled, for heaven's sake! What really, really matters - in fact, the ONLY thing that matters - is faith expressing itself through love! (Gal. 5:6)

*Stimming is a repetitive body movement that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner - a continuous, purposeless movement. Stimming is one of the symptoms for autism although it is observed in about 10 percent of young children without autism. Many children with autism have no stims. Common forms of stimming among people with autism include hand flapping, body spinning or rocking, lining up or spinning toys or other objects ... and repeating rote phrases.

Looking Through His Eyes ... High Above My Petty Problems!

Not a good day today - up before crack of dawn to drive an hour to school - teaching 6 Latin classes - started home with list of PO stop, bank, grocery, library, etc. First stop: PO. Last stop: PO! Mailed bill pay envelopes but car didn't even yawn when I decided to proceed down my list. Call AAA ONLY my cell phone was also out of juice SO - good thing the PO person likes me because I had to "borrow" the PO phone to call AAA and dial a friend to pick me up.
Didn't know they start dead batteries these days with a neat little portable gizmo that zaps the battery and starts it right up! That's a good thing as it shows my inexperience with dead batteries!
AND so it goes .........
Feeling like I might want to trade lives with someone ONLY then I read an email from two friends: one has two special needs kids (one with hemophilia) and that child is in crisis right now; the other is expecting a child with Trisomy 13 - a more than difficult path!
Suddenly dead phones and batteries don't seem so big! Nothing like shining the light of perspective on any problem!
Helps me to see this world through different eyes AND, hopefully, with a different heart!

Let me see this world, dear Lord, as though I were looking through Your eyes.
A world of men who don't want You Lord, but a world for which You died.
Let me kneel with You in the garden, Blur my eyes with tears of agony;
For if once I could see this world the way You see, I just know I'd serve You more faithfully.

Let me see this world, dear Lord, through Your eyes when men mock Your holy name.
When they beat You and spat upon You, Lord, let me love them
as You loved them just the same.
Let me stand high above my petty problems, and grieve for men, hell bound eternally;
For if once I could see this world the way You see, I just know I'd serve You more faithfully.

"Looking Through His Eyes" - Words and music by Mike Otto arranged by David T. Clydesdale;
copyright 1979 by John T. Benson Publishing Company

Special Needs Parenting and "Heart Trouble"

Parents of children with special needs seem to endlessly be walking into
trouble. Whether it's the crisis of a hospital stay, troubles with treatments
or challenges with school, the stress never seems to end. Even daily life can
be a trial that most others will never understand. We are sleep deprived,
financially stretched, socially outcast, verbally assaulted, harassed by doctors
and insurance companies. Most days, merely by getting out of bed, we're heading
into some sort of unique situation that requires creative problem-solving or
teamwork. As we reflect this week on the One who gives us hope, will we set our
face like flint and walk holding His hand through our troubles? He has more
than proven Himself more than worthy of our full trust!With every trial
we face, we can ask ourselves, Will I let it be wasted or will I let this
heartache serve an eternal purpose? Granted, we are imperfect, sinful humans.
But will we, in the final analysis, be able to look back at our challenges and
say, I let the One who calmed the wind and the waves get me through them! What
a blessing it is when we can know for certain that our suffering was not in
vain! And each difficulty we come through with God's help allows us to set our
face like flint for the next one. If He's seen us through before, He will
again.It's a lighthearted stress-release to roll our eyes and wish
ourselves to be on a beach eating bonbons while enjoying tropical breezes. As
long as it's a humorous coping mechanism and not a permanent detour to an
attitude of bitter entitlement, it's okay. Venting to a trusted friend or being
comforted by loved ones is a healthy way to deal with things. But our goal
should be to become like Jesus in ever-increasing measure, knowing that we can
do everything through Him because He gives us the strength. (See 2 Corinthians
3:18 & Philippians 4:13)As you go through these final days before
Easter, quiet yourself and notice how Jesus faced His certain death head-on.
Sit in admiration of His unmatched courage. Soak in the overwhelming gratitude
that rolls over you as you consider what He did for you. And renew your
commitment to follow the Savior who was undaunted by even the most horrendous
adversity. With what He faced, is there anything that He cannot help you to
face?
This blog post by my friend Barb Dittrich of Snappin' Ministries says what's in my heart as huge for this Easter week and always! You can read Barb's blog daily at http://comfortinthemidstofchaos.blogspot.com/2012/04/facing-trouble-head-on-lenten.html?spref=tw

The Paper Plate Connection

Sue is my sister's friend. Sue is also a single mother for her daughter Kayleen. Sue's husband left Sue and Kayleen soon after Kayleen's birth. Kayleen was just too high maintenance for him! Kayleen was born with Angelman Syndrome.
Sue's love for Kayleen is best described as fierce! Kayleen wasn't supposed to be able to walk but she does. Kayleen is now sixteen. She rides a big pink tricycle. She swims in the neighbor's pool. She walks. She doesn't talk but she does communicate - especially her displeasure. She plays quietly in her room with toys more appropriate for a toddler in another world. Kayleen has a wonderful life!
Sue and Kayleen live in a darling house. They call their home "Buttercup" - the place that always has a smile! The home is filled with angels of many kinds - on pillows and in pictures, in an afghan on the sofa and more - all serve as a reminder of God's blessing even through Angelman Syndrome.
My husband and I were in their lovely home twice in Summer 2009 when two of my sister's sons married the same summer. I tried to engage Kayleen but all my efforts were useless. Kayleen loves men, however, so she thinks my John is the coolest! She "runs" to meet him with her lurching walk. She looks up at him with her dazzling smile!
One Sunday night we - Kayleen and I - were sitting on the sofa together. I decided to try one more time. I picked up a paper plate - don't ask me why because I don't have a clue. Kayleen and I just started passing the plate back and forth. No words were spoken but gradually we bonded over that simple white paper plate. Kayleen smiled broadly and made a happy sound! I felt like I'd climbed a mountain!
Sue cares for Kayleen with all the love she has which is a huge amount and briming over! Is she ever weary? You betcha! Is she ever lonely? I'm sure she is. But Sue is also the poster mom for a special needs child in a company of thousands, maybe millions, of special needs moms around the world. Sue doesn't see herself as heroic. She is quick to tell you how blessed she and Kayleen are to have each other! And we were blessed from head to toe just living in their world for a few short days twice that summer!

Finding Holy Ground in the Midst of Chaos!

This is a guest post today by my friend Barb Dittrich in Wisconsin:

http://comfortinthemidstofchaos.blogspot.com/2012/02/holy-ground.html

I was totally blessed so wanted to share with each of you!