Guess Who’s Coming to Tea!

I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day! When I was six years old, I wanted to give a Valentine Tea. I made and sent invitations to some of my mother’s special friends.

I used Mother’s silver teapot, creamer and sugar bowl. I put her lace tablecloth on the dining room table with lace trimmed napkins and pretty china. I made special tea. I made heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  I put them on a pretty silver tray.  

The invited guests all came. Some even wore hats and furs to make it special. They drank the tea and ate the little sandwiches and declared it was a wonderful time! Through my six-year-old eyes, it was magical!*

Once (ages and ages hence as Robert Frost said) I planned another Valentine tea. I invited a bunch of moms and daughters to another Valentine Tea. I went all out with decorations, food, planned activities including making each little girl a special apron to wear to decorate the heart-shaped cookies I had ready.


This time the invitations were fancier. There were many more invited guests. I polished my own silver teapot, creamer, and sugar bowl. I cleaned and decorated my house. I put on a pretty Valentine sweater and waited for the guests to arrive. The time came and went, and no one came! Finally one mom and daughter showed up. No one else came. No one else even called. That was it! We had our tea for three instead of 23.

What if my six-year-old self had made and sent the invitations, set the table, polished the silver, made the heart-shaped sandwiches and put on my prettiest dress all ready for the guests to arrive? What if no one came?

The truth is that only one of the other 10 moms and daughters who were invited even bothered to contact me after the fact to say something came up not any emergency – just something trivial.

WHAT IF NO ONE had come to my second Valentine Tea?  What would I have done then?  WHAT IF I had picked up my phone and started making phone calls to the invited guests?  WHAT IF one mom after another gave an excuse especially some silly excuse WHY she and her girl couldn’t come? WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE THEN?

A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. ¹⁷ At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, “Come, for everything is now ready.”

¹⁸ But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, “I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.”

¹⁹ Another said, “I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.”

²⁰ Still another said, “I just got married, so I can’t come.”

²¹ The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, “Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.”

²² “Sir,” the servant said, “what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.”

²³ Then the master told his servant, “Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full.”     – Luke 14:16-23

About that second Valentine Tea, I’m wondering how those guys in the group home a few blocks away would look in cute little Valentine aprons? OR how some of the guys and gals at the City Mission would take to heart-shaped sandwiches? Well, maybe not so much, but maybe I should plan for them the next time! Just sayin’ – You just never know who might be coming to the Tea Party!

*I have a very, very special mother who was willing to allow a six-year-old who thought she was pretty grown-up to attempt a Valentine’s Tea mostly on her own. It was the kind of freedom and encouragement that largely made me the grown-up person I have eventually become!

 

 

Have a Heart!

Today is my favorite holiday - Valentine's Day! I don't know why but I've loved this day since I was a little girl - even more than Christmas! And that's saying something since I really love holidays. I love the special memories they make and the decorations and the food and the music and all the rest that goes with well-celebrated holidays.

When I was about six, I gave a Valentine tea for my mother. I invited her friends. I made heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The friends came in their furs and we all pretended it was a big deal even if it was only a little six-year-old girl saying "I love you" to her mother. I guess that is a big deal - come to think of it!

This morning I found a really sweet card and a bouquet of fresh flowers on the kitchen counter when I got up to make coffee. That's all the up-side of Valentine's.

Somehow my thoughts have turned to thinking about a little different slant on this special day. Actually a phone conversation with a friend probably prompted my thoughts. She was reflecting on a difficult time we had gone through together and how it was now behind us and how cool that was.

That hard time was pretty ugly in all kinds of ways. There were certainly people involved who intended evil. I supppose that puts them and their actions in the class of "enemy." In Matthew 5:43 - 48 Jesus talked about such people and their actions. He had some pretty radical things to say. He said, "Love your enemies." I sometimes struggle with loving family and friends much less enemies.
In vs. 44 Jesus describes one way we can start the process of loving an enemy: pray for them. There is a parallel passage in Luke 6:27 - 36. Jesus goes even further there. He instructs His disciples (those who follow Him), "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you."

What does loving an enemy look like? Loving an enemy isn't just a thought in the mind or a declaration on the lips. Loving an enemy is an action of the heart that is radical.

When God's love grips my heart with grace, then I see that I am truly a big sinner who is loved and cherished by God anyway. WOW! If God can love me, then I guess I need to work on this concept of love that extends to my "enemy" - to that person or persons who have perpetrated evil toward me. (There's a real sense in which the category "sinner" makes me - and you - an enemy of God.)

Only when I understand the depth of God's love for me and how radical it is that I can ever begin to offer that same radical love to others - even those who don't want my love because they wish me ill or worse. It becomes a matter of wanting for even an enemy to experience the same radical love I have found and experienced.

Think about it! That's how Jesus loved. He loved even His enemies. It wasn't a very self-protecting thing for Jesus to do: love His enemies. He just made more enemies in the process. But Jesus lived and demonstrated "Love in skin" (John 1:14)!

"In the presence of His enemies" Jesus practiced RADICAL LOVE! When evil encounters such radical love there are only two options: evil either runs away or it is changed/restored!

In his book Bold Love, Dan Allender defines offering love to an enemy: "Love can be defined as the free gift that voluntarily cancels the debt in order to free the debtor to become what he might be if he experiences the joy of restoration."

We cannot (and should never) force love on an enemy. That would not be loving. Our love extended to an enemy may be rejected, but that's not on our head (or heart). Our responsibility is to have a radical heart of love even to our enemies! That is only possible when we have experienced God's radical love and restoration in our own hearts!

What a great way to celebrate Valentine's Day! It's no longer a little girl "playing dress-up" and having tea. It's radical love in action due to God's loving restoration! It happens one heart at a time!