Running on Fumes!

Are you a care-giver for someone with special needs - your child, spouse, friend or other?  If so, you know exactly what I'm talking about - running on fumes!  There's just not much left to give!  Respite or relief seems too far away to get there on the fumes. You begin the day more weary than you ended yesterday!  The days blur as they run one into another.  The needs remain the same or become greater.  It's just plain hard, and there's no gas in your tank!

The details are unique to your situation.  I don't have a special needs child in my home.  I do have a mother who lives many states away with rapidly advancing Alzheimer's. I am certainly not on the frontlines involved in her care. But, I do a LOT of care-giving!  That's what most of my life is about.  That's especially hard when there are only fumes in the tank. So, I get that part!

As a pastor's wife, I can't hide from people needs. My heart won't let me! Believe me that I have LOTS of stories of care-giving over the years.  Some of them are pretty messy! Some are short; some are VERY long!  Often there is no one else to help shoulder the need for even a little while!  And, always there's that running on fumes thing!

People talk about boundaries - healthy ones!  That's great, but once you or I are signed on for duty especially care-giving, there are few options beyond just doing what needs to be done even when you're running on fumes! Tired is a reality but quitting or just checking out to rest may not be an option for many care-givers.  The needs that require care-giving don't take a vacation!  They just keep coming day in and day out.

I don't have the answer for the running on fumes thing!  And, I have struggled for 5 days with how to end this post!  That's how low I am running on fumes!  THEN this morning it came to me:  even Jesus came to the running on fumes part.  That was when He knew He had to recharge/refill so He would trudge off and up a mountainside to be alone and pray!  He didn't have disposable time to go on a retreat or something.  People needs pressed Him on every side all day every day!  He sacrificed more and went without sleep to get alone and pray!  But, the end result was that His Father supplied the fumes problem every single time.  He will do the same for me and you!

Catch Me If You Can!

I went to bed weary - very weary - last night --- so weary that I pondered what was wrong. Was it a very busy day? Yep, you betcha! That's pretty much what all my days are. As I pondered I thought of this phrase: Catch me if You can!

Just about every day I blast off to a day that is full and demanding. Do I look over my shoulder as I hurry on my way and shout to God, Catch me if You can! ??? 

Tucked in one of my favorite devotional books - Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles Cowman - is a great quote from which the title is taken:

Thank you, God for weary days, when desert streams were dry. That's when we learned the depths of need Your love could satisfy. Thanks for the rest in You, the weary only know--the perfect, wondrous sympathy, that we must learn below. The touch that heals the broken heart is never felt above. The angels know His blessedness; His way-worn saints, His love (Streams in the Desert).

On the weary days when I'm a bona fide way-worn saint, shouting over my shoulder - Catch me if You can - as I blast off,  what my weary heart and body need MOST is to know His love!  And His love is as close as my next breath! His love will surround me in the blast off and the journey! What I need most is to rest in that love as I hurry on my way!