Finger Pointing when God Doesn't Heal

I haven't forgotten how I felt on that fall afternoon many years ago. Some weeks prior to that afternoon my husband and I were involved in a pretty serious car accident.  The injuries I sustained required a difficult, painful time of recovery.  There was nothing easy about the following months but that's a story for another day!  Many people were praying for me and our family asking Jehovah Rapha, the God Who Heals, to show up and do what only He can - make me well again quickly. 

That afternoon a friend stopped by our home.  She asked if she could pray for me.  I was happy for all the prayers I could get!  She prayed and asked God to intervene and bring healing and restoration. When she finished her prayer, she immediately asked, Are you healed?   I knew I wasn't.  No healing miracle took place during her prayer. I said, No.

That was when the finger pointing began.  When I said NO, she said, Well, you just don't have enough faith.  I was astonished and offended. 

I pushed back with a question:  That's an interesting conclusion for you to draw.  Tell me, how is it that I am not healed because I do not have enough faith?  I know that you recently prayed for Mr. X [a certain famous someone who had a spinal cord injury after being shot].  You went to see him just like you came to see me today.  You prayed for him just like you prayed for me today.  He is still in his wheelchair.  He also was not healed when you prayed.  Is that what you told him after your prayer - that he did not have enough faith? 

O, No!  she said.  He wasn't healed because it didn't serve God's greatest good for him to be healed at this time.  I was startled!  I was angry!  I was not healed due to my lack of faith!  It was my fault!  The other person was not healed - not due to lack of faith but rather due to the plan and purpose of God.  The only difference I could see between the two of us by her measure was that he was famous and I was not.

Sorry, but the God I know doesn't operate that way!  He doesn't pick and choose only the wise, the wonderful, the rich, the famous on whom to bestow His favor! He says, I will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. (Rom. 9:15)  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things ... so that no one may boast before Him. (1 Cor. 1:27-29) 

I took a deep breath, looked her straight in the eye and said, I agree that God does not heal at times because He has a greater plan.  But, my friend, faith is a gift from God.  Faith isn't something I conjure up or manufacture. (Eph. 2:8)   I know that God does not heal when He doesn't for His own good purpose and plan.  God does heal when He does also for His own good purpose and plan.  Healing comes from Him.  Healing depends on Him.  When God doesn't choose to heal me or anyone else, He has His reasons and that is enough for me! 

What a terrible burden to dump on a person in the middle of pain and loss - it's your fault! 

You aren't strong enough or spiritual enough to get what you need!  Pointing fingers, placing blame on the person God doesn't choose to heal is deeply wrong!  Point your finger at God if you must. Place the blame on Him.  He makes His plan.  He works His plan.  He walks with you and me in the pain.  Maybe He changes the circumstances.  Maybe He doesn't, but whatever He does is about Him.  It's His choice!  That's a very, very good and comforting reality!

The Broken Pot Shines!

It's only a simple terra cotta pot. Nothing special!  But, it becomes a parable of life! 
Yesterday I got a phone call from the mom of one of my students. She sounded a notch beyond panicked. I could hardly understand her. Finally I did understand that she needed a friend who could stand in the gap for her at that moment. I had just walked in the door from a long day at school. She had been held up by a younger son (who has cystic fibrosis) whose immediate needs supplanted her ability to pick up my other son after school. I had to be assertive but I told her I would get her son, bring him to my house and for her to pick him up there whenever she could.
Long story short I had to have a little help too as it was almost time she would be picking him up and I was at least 20 minutes away. To add to that I was waiting on the "gutter guy." My husband called to say he was held up and couldn't cover with the "gutter guy." God is amazing! He's always in the shadows ready to meet every need! I called another mom and asked if she would pick up my student. Then I dispatched the "gutter guy" rather quickly and went to get my student at the 2nd mom's home.
By the time I got back, Mom #1 was there with her other son. Last night she sent me a really sweet email which I share, not because I'm so great but because it shows something about the pot. She was responding to my email assuring her that it was not bother to help and to call me any time:
You did much more than help me a little . . . you did more than help me a lot. You won't know until you get your many crowns to throw before His feet. Thank you for everything, including the loving encouragement and beautiful example of His love.

Back to the pot. Let's just suppose we would break that pot together - smash it. Then suppose you and I would take all those pieces and pick them up together. THEN you and I would take the pot and carefully reconstruct all the broken pieces back into its original shape. (Of course, we would also need some really good glue that would dry quickly.) Well, that's most probably not going to happen. There will still be cracks. The pieces may not even resemble the original pot at all.
Then suppose you and I would put a candle in the pot and light it. What will happen?
Light will shine through the brokenness!
Jesus said, I am the Light of the World. Whoever follows me will have a life filled with light and will never live in the dark. (John 8:12) 

You get it. I get it. We don't have to walk in darkness even in our brokenness! We can walk in the light not because we have it all together but because we don't. We don't have to have it all together. He does, and He is the Light!  That broken pot shines because of Him - shines through the brokenness!

Put on a Happy Face!

Yesterday at school I ran into a parent in the hall. I knew the family was going through a round of challenges related to a son who has cystic fibrosis. I asked the dad how things were going. His quick response was, "Fine, just fine."
I've been there and done that! For years when my boys were growing up, I had a series of very serious health issues. I spent many days in the hospital over about 10 years. We tried to live as normally as possible - whatever normal is.
For several reasons, among them being that I hate complainers and hate to complain and also because I know many people don't really want to hear it - I found myself with a similar mantra to my student's father - "Fine, just fine."  Often people teased me (and still do) that fine is my stock answer. It was and still is probably.
One Sunday morning years ago I was walking down the hall at church when an elder passed by. Without breaking stride he asked, "How are you, Ann?" I did not give my usual reply. Instead I answered, "Well, I just found out I have to have brain surgery." He kept going as he said over his shoulder, "That's great! I'm glad to hear it!"  I admit it was a test of sorts with no small amount of sarcasm on my part, but it gave me a valuable insight into how many people like me cope. Put on a happy face!
That's NOT how it's supposed to work in the Body of Christ! We are to bear one another's burdens. (Gal. 6:2) Paul says that's how we can fulfill the law of Christ. We cannot possibly bear a burden we don't know about which requires energy and persistence on the part of one partner in the burden-bearing process. It requires developing the art of listening well. It also requires vulnerability and humility on the part of the burdened! Putting on a happy face, hiding, wearing the fine mask do not fulfill the law of Christ nor lift any loads.
Lord Jesus, make me sensitive to see and be willing to help carry the needs of others even at the personal sacrifice of energy, time and heart. Help me to be willing to risk. Help me to share my own pain both for my good and for the good of others. Help me to be willing to share my own needs! Help us all to fulfill the law of Christ by being what the Body of Christ is supposed to be! Thank You that I don't have to hide behind a happy face when the reality is something else! I pray for the sake of Your Kingdom!

On a scale of 1 to 10.........

I know just how you feel!
Did you ever let these words pass your lips? We might think we know, but there's NO WAY we can get that far under a person's skin and into their heart!
A friend who lives in a power chair told me recently, Nobody knows how hard it is to be this disabled! And she is that disabled with a disease she didn't ask to have, was born with and knows is progressing rapidly. NOBODY - I mean nobody - can know how SHE feels even someone else in somewhat similar circumstances.
The thing about pain is that it's a lonely business! We can't share! I have my own pain stories. I know how many times I have wished (probably not on my most spiritual days) to "zap" someone else with my pain so they could see how intense it is.
Just in the last few days another friend said, Everyone has their own problems! She was feeling the intensity of the pain in her life. 
There is no meter to measure one person's pain against another person's pain. This isn't bridge where one card can trump another. This is real life lived on the razor's edge!
I absolutely hate to answer the question that doctors and nurses love to ask, On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain? I think the question is totally useless as every person/patient handles and perceives pain differently, and there's no factor for that fact. There have been times when my physical pain was so intense that I wanted to answer 15!
There is a story (which I thought was attributed to D.L. Moody but the web says either Persian proverb or unknown and the picture another source) about a man who had no shoes and felt very sorry for himself until he met a man who had no feet. It's all about perspective! It's all about who's inside the pain! And, clearly, some pain is worse than other pain! Having a baby or a kidney stone or an attack of pancreatitis are infinitely more painful than a sore throat. But, that being said, the person with the sore throat doesn't have a kidney stone so the sore throat is the pain of the moment.


And no, you don't know how I feel and I don't know how you feel! What matters is whether you and I care more about someone else's pain than our own!

O, by the way, I had time to write this blog post just now because I got a pain reprieve from the dentist. I was supposed to have 2 fillings today but the dentist office has no electricity! Darn! :o)

The Blaze

God takes the broken and hurting and uses those people to blaze His name across the sky.

 

 

Pray for this family (five girls), Dad and Mom!

 

 

 

God is using Kristina from her hospital bed to reach thousands across the world. I wish that you all were here to understand the depth of this incredible outpouring. ...
I am now at Jackson Memorial in Miami with Kristina in the region's only Neuro ICU. Walking through the campus I saw signs everywhere that read "Where Miracles Happen" Her biggest challenge yet is ahead. We are unsure of the extent of the damage to the brain but will hopefully be able to understand soon. Please join me and lift her need for complete healing of the brain in a chorus that shakes the foundations of Heaven.
Finally, We were able to get some incredible Bonding time between Mommy and new baby Kristina Eaven Adkins.    --by Dad, Jeremy Adkins

In a Quiet Home on a Quiet Street .........

Breakfast Tuesday morning, February 19, 2013 in a quiet home on a quiet street - two people were sitting at their kitchen table - a little "old" man and a little "old" woman. Suddenly their mentally ill 26-year-old grandson appeared behind his grandmother and stabbed her with a Bowie knife leaving her dead. He said the Archangel Michael told him to do it.
That little "old" man and his little "old" wife happen to be friends of ours. We came to know them at a time of real crisis in life and ministry for us! They reached out with heart hugs and more! They truly cared!
That's one reason my friend - that little "old" lady - is in heaven today! They truly cared! They cared for a daughter and grandson who needed a live-in family. They cared for their larger family. They cared for the family in the church the little "old" man pastored. They cared for people - peers - like us who needed a friend to help bear a heavy burden! They are/were the REAL deal!
About a year ago I was teaching one morning and heard a voice going by in the hall. It sounded like my friend. As soon as class was over I went looking for her. I found her at the copy machine doing one of the things she did best - helping!
As we talked I discovered that one of the most adorable boys I've ever taught - who was then in one of my Latin classes - was another grandson - smart and "cute as a bug in a rug"! How cool is that?!
But, back to the other grandson........ also very, very smart (possibly brilliant) but very conflicted and tortured by forces that mentally and emotionally are destroying him from the inside out! He is a special needs individual with pretty huge issues - his life on a downhill spiral - and now caught, trapped by his own twisted mind into doing the unthinkable and irretrievable!
We live in a terribly broken world and we are ALL broken! Most of us don't manifest our brokenness like this young man. One of the tragedies of this story is that some things are never going to be fixed in this life - no matter how hard we try! It's that brokenness thing!
This little "old" man courageously went public in a television interview soon after this tragedy took place. He wants to raise awareness for special needs families! He wants to "make a difference" for other families and individuals impacted by special needs (disability)! So he and his daughter shared their pain!
It may well be too late for this grandson. It is definitely too late for this grandmother though she is now in a much better world where there are no more tears, no more pain, no more brokenness of any kind!
We never know what goes on in quiet homes on quiet streets - the tears, the pain, the brokenness! We can determine to make a difference - even if we only take baby steps - to reach out with heart hugs and more! That's what the world around us needs NOW while we wait for that day Jesus promised when He said, I am making all things new! (Rev. 21:5)

God Counts Your Tears - Every Single One!

When my husband and I were in Israel, we visited a small gift shop near the garden tomb. I was fascinated by their collection of beautiful, very small hand-blown glass bottles. The sign with the display identified them as lachrymatory bottles. These tiny bottles have been used since ancient times to collect tears. I bought quite a few to bring home.


Over the years since I have gradually given all but one away. I have given each one - as a reminder of God's presence and faithfulness -to a special friend who was experiencing great grief in life .

In the Old Testament (over 1000 years before the birth of Christ) King David writes in a prayer to God (Psalm 56:8): “Thou tellest my wanderings, put thou my tears in Thy bottle; are they not in Thy Book?” (KJV)

There have been times in my life where I have experienced intense grief. I have always been comforted by God's abiding presence and faithfulness! The image of a lachrymatory is a visual reminder that God cares about each tear!

Whatever your grief is today, my friend, my prayer is that you too will find comfort in the only place where REAL comfort is found - in the faithful love and grace of God!

Heart Bruises!

Did you ever get a bruise? They usually come from hitting something. The harder the hit usually the bigger the bruise and also the more colorful! :o] OR some ["lucky" or un"lucky"] people like me also get bruises from some unknown cause. Usually the tissue involved in a bruise hurts. Eventually bruises heal but in the meantime there may be pain and there is certainly a mark on the skin and deeper tissues physically.
There is another category of bruise - a heart bruise. Heart bruises are totally unseen. Some people flaunt them; others just go off alone and others grow bitter and stuck in their pain. Heart bruises don't go away so quickly. Sometimes they last for a very long time! Often the person who caused the heart bruise doesn't even know what he or she did. Sometimes the bruise is intentional. Neither matters to a heart bruise!
The path to healing of a heart bruise is handing it over to the great Physician. He is really the only One Who can heal the deep pain of a heart bruise! Heart bruises can be excrutiatingly painful. They bring us to our knees either in despair or in prayer.
The causes of heart bruises are myraid: spouse, children, words, actions and more! There is no escaping a heart bruise. They come to all! Sometimes reconciliation and forgiveness help the healing process but Jesus is the only ultimate Answer for heart bruises! Go to Him as He's in the business of restoring (healing completely) all heart bruises!

Thru the Darkness to Home!

When darkness seems to win we know that pain reminds this heart that this is not our home!
---Laura Story
Ok, I get it about being light in a dark world! I get it that Jesus is the Light of the world! That's NO problem!
BUT sometimes it seems like darkness is winning and that THE LIGHT and His light thru me are not bright enough to push back the darkness! O, I know that's not ultimately true! I know how the story ends and who wins! BUT in the now I'm painfully groping my way along in the darkness or so it seems! THAT'S EXACTLY when my heart needs to see through the pain of the darkness that "this world is NOT my home" and that a NEW day is coming when darkness and pain and struggle will be NO more! O, come quickly, Lord Jesus!

A Safe Place

Jesus, there's no safer place to be than in Your heart and hand, even if everything else fuels fear and brings pain! --Scotty Smith

The Chicken and the Pig and Suffering

Tim Keller describes God's heart for the problem of pain in all its forms when he says, "God so loves us and hates suffering that He was willing to come down and get involved in it (suffering)."

"Get involved" is SUCH an innocuous term when THAT involvement was the death of God the Son!

There is a HUGE difference between the chicken's and the pig's "involvement" with the breakfast menu. The chicken is involved in the process of producing an egg to contribute. The pig is committed to the bacon. Bacon is a life-altering event for the pig!

Jesus' death was INVOLVEMENT to the max in our sin and pain! His commitment went far beyond involvement! His death and resurrection are life-altering events for you and me because He was willing to be committed to the cross!

Rain and Rainbows

Two Sundays ago, I heard a sermon on Noah, the ark and the rainbow promise. It started me thinking about rain and rainbows.

Recently I read Tullian Tchividjian's blog thoughts (Blog: On Earth as it is in Heaven) on "Trusting God When We Cannot Trace Him" which pressed me further in my thinking about rain and rainbows.

Tullian reminds me of the lines from J.I. Packer's book, Knowing God (p. 97) about understanding "the unexpected and upsetting and discouraging things" that happen.

Paul Brand wrote an entire book relevant to this topic, Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants (now released as The Gift of Pain: Why We Hurt and What Can Do About It). The bottom line to his over 300 pages of really good stuff is that we need pain to survive. From his years as a doctor to leprosy patients in India and in the USA, Dr. Brand has seen up close and personal what painlessness does in harming the human body. Pain is actually a gift in that it motivates us to stop and seek help. It's a matter of self-preservation!

Twenty years ago I heard Dr. Brand speak at the Medical College of Virginia. He talked about his work with lepers and his conclusions about the benefits of pain sensors in the body. When he finished, my husband and I went up to speak to him. At that point in time, I was experiencing some pretty extreme physical pain. It was interesting because Dr. Brand stopped, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "You know about pain, don't you?"

George Mattheson wrote the compelling hymn, "Love That Will Not Let Me Go" after he lost his sight and his fiancee walked away from their commitment due to his blindness. Through his tears and pain, Mattheson penned these awesome words

O Love that wilt not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee; ... O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee; I trace the rainbow through the rain, And feel the promise is not vain, That morn shall tearless be.

J.I. Packer observes: "We may be frankly bewildered at things that happen to us, but God knows exactly what He is doing, and what He is after, in His handling of our affairs. Always, and in everything, He is wise: we shall see that hereafter, even where we never saw it here ... Meanwhile we ought not to hesitate to trust His wisdom, even when He leaves us in the dark." (Knowing God, p. 97)

Tullian blogs: "Faith trusts God even when it cannot trace him. God is doing something in your life, in my life, ... that is above and beyond anything we could ever ask for or imagine. ... God promises that the best is yet to come. Think big. ... "

Remember the song "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"? Raindrops and deluges fall on all of us. The question is how to get through the rain to the rainbow. The rain may be God's gift to get us to the rainbow where we see and experience God's utter faithfulness!

The challenge for my heart is to not get stuck in the rain but rather to trace the rainbow through the rain! Only God can lead me through the rain to the rainbow!

The BIG Question: WHY?

The BIG question is "WHY?" We have all asked it. Something happens that is just "over the top," and we turn our faces (and sometimes also our fists) heavenward and ask, "Why, God?" At the very least, we ask, "OK, God, what in the world do you mean to accomplish by this? Are You quite sure you know what You are doing?"

Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote a book addressing this question following the death of his son: When Bad Things Happen to Good People. When his book first hit the bookstores, I was going through my own personal struggle with pain. I found his book at the Christian bookstore near where we lived, bought and read it. Wow! What a sad book! Rabbi Kushner's conclusion is that there are some things just too big and bad for God to do anything about them. He actually states that God is impotent in certain situations.

When bad things were happening to me, I didn't find what Rabbi Kushner wrote very comforting!

In ancient times a man named Job faced an overwhelming wave of one disaster after another: He lost his considerable wealth (oxen, donkeys, sheep, camels) and all the servants he employed to take care of them. Then the message came to Job that all his seven sons and his three daughters were caught in the house where they were at a party. A huge tornado hit the house directly, destroyed the house and all Job's children perished.

In the final blow Job lost his health with a terrible disease that made him an outcast from society and covered his entire body with painful sores. He had to go live in the garbage dump. When bad things happen to good people? Job knew all about that!

Then Job endured the onslaught of his three closest friends (and eventually even his wife) as they all gave him very bad advice for how to respond to all this pain. Job dialogues with them, but he refuses to be influenced by their arguments. Then a brash young man named Elihu shows up at the city dump and imparts his angry "wisdom" to straighten Job out. Elihu basically tells Job he isn't spiritual enough, doesn't understand God's ways well enough, isn't wise enough to know and follow God from his heart.

It is very interesting to read the ancient book of Job in the Old Testament. In chapter 38 God speaks. God comes in a huge lightning storm, and God blasts them all with His truth. It is an amazing recitation from God of His power to create, control and bring restoration.

Job's response is humble before the face of God. Job says, "I'm convinced You can do anything and everything. Nothing can upset Your plans. ... I admit I once lived by rumors of You; now I have it all firsthand - from my own eyes and ears! I'm sorry - forgive me. ... I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor." (Job 42:1 - 6, The Message)

Job's God is not like Rabbi Kushner's. Job's God is not impotent. Job's God is powerful, great and good! Job plants his feet firmly on the Rock, and he declares, "I KNOW that my Redeemer lives!"

That is the answer to the "WHY ?" question: God is real! Jesus is risen from the dead! God has power to create and control all the affairs of men and all the circumstances of life! God is NEVER impotent! God is always both great and good ALL THE TIME! And that's the only answer to the question, "Why ?" - every time!

Jewish Job celebrated Easter long before Jesus rose from the dead in his declaration that "my Redeemer lives."

And the Bible records that in the end - when it was all said and done - that God gave Job back (restored what was broken and lost) all he had before times two. Job received (from God's gracious hand) twice as many sheep, camels, oxen and donkeys. And Job and his wife had ten more children. Their other ten were in heaven so they had 20 children in all - twice what they started with.

God is in the business of restoring the broken! God restored Job, and He can and will restore you and me in all our brokenness! Actually that's why there is a Restoration Church gathering in the South Hills of Pittsburgh - because God is in the business of restoration!