A Word is A Word is A Word!

Words do matter! Word choices matter! It matters if the hearer thinks one definition and the speaker has another meaning in mind! NOT much communication happens in that case!
Recently Dr. James Dobson featured on his radio program a couple who discussed "Raising a Handicapped Child."
Handicapped ...... Special Needs ....... Disabled ........... Affected by Disability ...... and more. Which is the best practices term?
No criticism intended or implied to either Dr. Dobson or Focus on the Family or the couple interviewed - just some personal observations related to my journey in disability ministry:

• In the last six years my thinking has undergone a radical transformation in relation both to individuals affected by disabilities, to myself in relationship to them and to HOW and WHY and WHEN the Church of Jesus Christ should and must work out the mandate to be inclusive to all!
• Luke 14:12-14 is the core passage from Scripture which addresses this concern. AND the fact that Jesus spent almost His entire ministry hanging with just such individuals is both inescapable and compelling as a mandate!
• Terms matter - What is the best term to use for this discussion? Frankly I'm still studying on that one. To quote a famous someone, my thinking is "still evolving" evaluating terms and process related to special needs ministry.

Some years ago I read an article in a publication from a nationally known special needs ministry. They actually prefer and advocate "affected by disability." The article described the difference between "handicapped" and "disability." I have never forgotten the distinction:

We are ALL handicapped in one way or another. To use the article's example - I am 5'5" tall. It is impossible for me to reach the top of my kitchen cabinets without some assistance. That assistance may come in the form of a chair or stool or climbing up on the counter top or even something else. I overcome my handicap with a "tool" intended to increase or augment my height.

A disability is a lack of function in life which may be physical, mental, emotional or even spiritual. We are all disabled in one way or another if we generally include "brokenness" as a qualifying category. There is wisdom, however, in having a "best practices" term related to individuals dealing with the wide range of physical, mental and emotional diagnoses or "labels" (for want of a better term). There is significant discussion about hidden disabilities in this "field." We all have hidden disabilities in the sense that all of us are broken in one way or another until Jesus makes all things new on an awesome future day! But I think we need to be careful not to appear to minimize the HUGE pain experienced by individuals and families whose lives are affected by disability 24/7 with real diagnoses and needs.

I don't pretend to know the precise best practices term. I leave that determination to minds much senior to mine in pay grade. What I do know is that there needs to be open discussion about words related to describing disabilities so we communicate without doing harm! My friend Dr. Steve Grcevich of Key Ministry recently blogged his own thoughts on this very subject.

The ultimate goal is to find and use terms that are inclusive, respectful, clear, person first, relational and effectively communicative because words DO matter! There are far too many wedge words in life for the church before the watching world not to take the meaning of words seriously!

Dancing With Disabilities

"Dancing with the Stars" is a popular TV show. Among other things the show is designed to pair an "ordinary" person with a celebrity. These two then develop (with professional assistance, of course) at least two dance routines. They practice together and compete against other celeb/non-celeb couples. Apparently the show is mesmerizing for for those who track its progress until one couple finally wins.

At A Restoration Church we are dancing with disabilities! Actually close inspection reveals that we all have some area of brokenness in life. Those of us who have more obvious brokenness are labeled by society as "disabled." What I have learned is that "disability" isn't so much about not being able in some aspect of physical, mental or emotional function as it is about having limitations and challenges outside the "norm." It may be a distinction without a real difference since we all deal with limitations and challenges to some extent. The real distinction comes in the significance of the limitation and challenge.

My friend is blind in one eye. She is significantly more impaired than I am with my sight challenges and limitations in both eyes. I can turn on a brighter light and wear my glasses. My friend's blind eye doesn't benefit from either light or lens. However I probably struggle more with my "sight issues" than she does with hers. She accepts her blind eye and actively and aggressively finds ways to compensate. Not only that, she demonstrates joy and humility in the process.

Dancing with people who have disabilities is far more exciting than "dancing with a star" on TV. Dancing with disabilities is literally people choosing to partner together to share and care for each other in a faith family. The lateral dimension of this dance is enriched by our differences and what we are learning from each other. The vertical dimension of this dance is how we participate together to worship and serve God. In our worship and service each partner in the dance brings his or her own unique contribution to the beauty of that dance. And I imagine God smiles while He watches because, of course, He is our Choreographer!

"Dancing with the Stars" is a glitzy production designed to capture the imagination of the observor. Our dance with disabled people at A Restoration Church isn't about fancy costumes, well choreographed moves and drama. It's about REAL! It is real people willing to share real needs, real joys, real pain and even real failure together in this dance so that we encourage and support each other. It's about learning God's ways and showing God's love. And most of all, it's about God's peace and joy working their way deeply into our hearts in this radical community of faith called A Restoration Church!

"Special Olympics" at Church?

Recently John Hall from WORD FM 101.5 asked my husband, "What does a typical Sunday at A Restoration Church look like?"

I got a really great "snap-shot" for an answer this past Sunday.

We always gather for lunch after worship. After we ate and were just sitting talking, our five-year-old twins (sons of one of the pastors) started a game of chase around the tables with Bobby. Three guys running around the tables racing each other doesn't sound so special except that Bobby has no legs. Bobby was racing in his wheelchair - great BIG smile on his face! Nathan and David were running as fast as they could to try to catch up - almost as big smiles on their faces, too! It was fun to watch! It was joy in motion!

O, did I forget to say - Bobby is 32. He was having fun and giving great fun to two little guys who have found a great new friend in Bobby!

At A Restoration Church we intentionally want to provide a loving, joyous, serving church family particularly for individuals and families affected by disability. That's just about all of us in one way or another - disabled, that is! So, together we are learning to be a community of faith and reaching out to others to include them in our joy!

So, I guess that's sort of what a typical Sunday at A Restoration Church "looks like" - It looks like joy in motion! The joy comes from our hearts. We get our joy from Jesus and it is contagious! We'd love for you to come catch some of that joy with us any Sunday!

Disabled Dumped By Police

Sometimes the news is more amazing than a fairy story! We expect villains to appear in Snow White (the wicked Queen) or Cinderella (the evil stepmother and her two daughters).

But we hardly imagine a story like the one currently on the news: "Quadriplegic Dumped By Police." It's also interesting that this story only came to light (even though there were at least four deputies present when the incident occurred) after the media ran a tape of the incident. That is also amazing! I don't think I'd be dumping a paralyzed man out of his wheelchair in a room where I knew the incident was being taped. Especially when the supposed reason was that the man was saying stuff that "was silly." Well, it so, it got more silly or worse before the incident was over.

It all started because 14-year quadriplegic Brian Sterner was cited for blocking an intersection in his mini-Cooper fitted with hand controls. Then he was taken to county jail for processing. Well, so far, it's pretty silly! Then, in full view of a camera, Sterner is dumped out of the wheelchair onto the floor and frisked. Amazing!

But this whole incident speaks to the difficulty the disabled have being assimilated into society - being accepted. They are different. They deal with many challenges, but many disabled people function incredibly well in overcoming their disabilities.

Recently I met a man named Frank. Frank lives in a wheelchair when he's not in bed. Frank has a terminal neurological disease. He cannot walk. He has great difficulty talking. He can hardly even scratch his nose if it itches because he has lost so much control and coordination. Frank needs help to do almost everything.

Inside Frank's broken body is a mind and a heart that function very well. Frank recently received a master's degree. Frank's body disguises the man inside who has a mind that works quite well, even better than most. But to discover Frank's mind and heart takes effort. It is hard to even understand his words.

There is a sense in which most people treat the disabled like Frank and Brian either actually or symbolically like those sheriff's deputies in Tampa treated Brian. We see the disabled as people to "dump." What a tragedy!

There are many disabled people who have a great deal to contribute in the world and in the church if you and I only take the time to get past the brokenness! That's one reason there's a new church forming in the South Hills of Pittsburgh - a Restoration Church. We want to intentionally tap into the disabled community both for ministry to them and for them to minister to us! In that process God is writing many restoration stories!