Finger Pointing when God Doesn't Heal

I haven't forgotten how I felt on that fall afternoon many years ago. Some weeks prior to that afternoon my husband and I were involved in a pretty serious car accident.  The injuries I sustained required a difficult, painful time of recovery.  There was nothing easy about the following months but that's a story for another day!  Many people were praying for me and our family asking Jehovah Rapha, the God Who Heals, to show up and do what only He can - make me well again quickly. 

That afternoon a friend stopped by our home.  She asked if she could pray for me.  I was happy for all the prayers I could get!  She prayed and asked God to intervene and bring healing and restoration. When she finished her prayer, she immediately asked, Are you healed?   I knew I wasn't.  No healing miracle took place during her prayer. I said, No.

That was when the finger pointing began.  When I said NO, she said, Well, you just don't have enough faith.  I was astonished and offended. 

I pushed back with a question:  That's an interesting conclusion for you to draw.  Tell me, how is it that I am not healed because I do not have enough faith?  I know that you recently prayed for Mr. X [a certain famous someone who had a spinal cord injury after being shot].  You went to see him just like you came to see me today.  You prayed for him just like you prayed for me today.  He is still in his wheelchair.  He also was not healed when you prayed.  Is that what you told him after your prayer - that he did not have enough faith? 

O, No!  she said.  He wasn't healed because it didn't serve God's greatest good for him to be healed at this time.  I was startled!  I was angry!  I was not healed due to my lack of faith!  It was my fault!  The other person was not healed - not due to lack of faith but rather due to the plan and purpose of God.  The only difference I could see between the two of us by her measure was that he was famous and I was not.

Sorry, but the God I know doesn't operate that way!  He doesn't pick and choose only the wise, the wonderful, the rich, the famous on whom to bestow His favor! He says, I will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. (Rom. 9:15)  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things ... so that no one may boast before Him. (1 Cor. 1:27-29) 

I took a deep breath, looked her straight in the eye and said, I agree that God does not heal at times because He has a greater plan.  But, my friend, faith is a gift from God.  Faith isn't something I conjure up or manufacture. (Eph. 2:8)   I know that God does not heal when He doesn't for His own good purpose and plan.  God does heal when He does also for His own good purpose and plan.  Healing comes from Him.  Healing depends on Him.  When God doesn't choose to heal me or anyone else, He has His reasons and that is enough for me! 

What a terrible burden to dump on a person in the middle of pain and loss - it's your fault! 

You aren't strong enough or spiritual enough to get what you need!  Pointing fingers, placing blame on the person God doesn't choose to heal is deeply wrong!  Point your finger at God if you must. Place the blame on Him.  He makes His plan.  He works His plan.  He walks with you and me in the pain.  Maybe He changes the circumstances.  Maybe He doesn't, but whatever He does is about Him.  It's His choice!  That's a very, very good and comforting reality!

Put on a Happy Face!

Yesterday at school I ran into a parent in the hall. I knew the family was going through a round of challenges related to a son who has cystic fibrosis. I asked the dad how things were going. His quick response was, "Fine, just fine."
I've been there and done that! For years when my boys were growing up, I had a series of very serious health issues. I spent many days in the hospital over about 10 years. We tried to live as normally as possible - whatever normal is.
For several reasons, among them being that I hate complainers and hate to complain and also because I know many people don't really want to hear it - I found myself with a similar mantra to my student's father - "Fine, just fine."  Often people teased me (and still do) that fine is my stock answer. It was and still is probably.
One Sunday morning years ago I was walking down the hall at church when an elder passed by. Without breaking stride he asked, "How are you, Ann?" I did not give my usual reply. Instead I answered, "Well, I just found out I have to have brain surgery." He kept going as he said over his shoulder, "That's great! I'm glad to hear it!"  I admit it was a test of sorts with no small amount of sarcasm on my part, but it gave me a valuable insight into how many people like me cope. Put on a happy face!
That's NOT how it's supposed to work in the Body of Christ! We are to bear one another's burdens. (Gal. 6:2) Paul says that's how we can fulfill the law of Christ. We cannot possibly bear a burden we don't know about which requires energy and persistence on the part of one partner in the burden-bearing process. It requires developing the art of listening well. It also requires vulnerability and humility on the part of the burdened! Putting on a happy face, hiding, wearing the fine mask do not fulfill the law of Christ nor lift any loads.
Lord Jesus, make me sensitive to see and be willing to help carry the needs of others even at the personal sacrifice of energy, time and heart. Help me to be willing to risk. Help me to share my own pain both for my good and for the good of others. Help me to be willing to share my own needs! Help us all to fulfill the law of Christ by being what the Body of Christ is supposed to be! Thank You that I don't have to hide behind a happy face when the reality is something else! I pray for the sake of Your Kingdom!

God, AAA and Me Today!

God, give me a heart today that obeys You no matter what happens - WOW! I'm big time having an opportunity to test this in spades today!
I posted this on Twitter today - only I neglected to hit "enter" - and rushed out of the house to take my hubby a piece of equipment he needed in a meeting. Just a few details: the meeting was on the exact opposite end of Pittsburgh, he didn't have a street address for my GPS so I headed out.........
I got to the right "street" only I didn't know the number - just that he was at a Panera's (There are at least 4 Paneras in a 3 mile stretch of that highway.) . He wasn't answering his cell phone and texted "I'm in a meeting". Well, I knew that!

He finally called me back. I was sitting in a Lowe's parking lot waiting for a call back. So he told me I needed to come a mile or so west. I drove to the stop light with my left turn signal on. Just a few car lengths from the front of the inside lane of two left hand turn lanes my car cut off. There was no power AT ALL! I couldn't run down a window. Even my emergency flashers didn't work! I can't tell how many cars came up behind and then around me to both the right and the left.

Meanwhile John was coming to me. He came toward me and then pulled in front of my car so he could jump my car. NOW you need to know that this was in the middle lane of seven traffic lanes! Hubby hooked up the jumper cables. My car started and ran for a total of about 20 seconds and quit again! THEN a policeman - lights flashing pulled up behind - but he wanted to give us a ticket or rather two tickets and then tow my car which we would have to pay $250 to get back from the impound lot. THEN just behind him a flatbed AAA truck pulled up. We have AAA Plus so suddenly things started looking up. The AAA man offered to get in my car after he put his battery thingy under the hood so he could drive my car around the corner and off the road. Long story short: The friendly (?) policeman left without ticketing us. The AAA man towed my car and it's at the repair shop. John has moved on to the rest of his day after leaving me at home.

I sat down at my computer and saw:
"God, give me a heart today that obeys You no matter what happens!" UH, I guess God was getting me ready for what He already knew! I guarantee you that the words typed somewhat glibly earlier take on NEW meaning now! WOW! God takes even my glib prayers seriously and answers but I gotta say I wasn't exactly on that track sitting in the middle of 7 lanes of busy traffic with NO power in a dead car!
Thank you, God, for AAA men and for husbands and for flexible schedules!

My Small Heart ......

A Prayer about “Formerly Useless People” and My Small Heart - Accordingly, although I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus—I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) Philemon 8-11Dear Lord Jesus, what great stories these few verses tell—how one man’s “useless” slave became another man’s beloved son; an imprisoned apostle loves as the freest of all men; redemption trumps anger; failure gives way to faith. Stories like this make the gospel beautiful and believable. I see myself as both Onesimus and Philemon, and I want to love more like Paul.Jesus, I’m a lot like Onesimus. I’m a rebel. I’m a runner. I want freedom on my terms. I thank you for not giving up on me—for coming after me when I was running away from you as fast as I could, just like Onesimus ran from Philemon.Overtly and covertly, I did everything I could to avoid you and ignore you. But you came after me; you found me; you bound me to your heart through the cords of the gospel, and slowly but surely, you’re changing me. The journey from slavery to sonship hasn’t always been easy. Sometimes I feel like it’s three steps forward and two steps backwards.Jesus, I also know what it’s like to be Philemon. I’ve been failed and I’ve been hurt. I’ve been betrayed and suffered loss. I’ve been used and played for a fool. But forgive me for labeling anyone as useless. There is simply no such thing as a worthless, useless image bearer of God. Help me forgive those who have harmed me, intentionally or otherwise. May your beauty trump my bitterness—your redemption rout my resentment.Jesus, I want to love like Paul. Paul saw something in Onesimus that Philemon didn’t see. Jesus, you saw something in me that no one else saw. Please give me your gospel eyes to see what you see in others—especially in people who disappoint me or bail on me.Who have I branded “useless,” with either my actual words or unspoken words? Who have I written off? Who have I renamed “failure,” “worthless,” “you’ll never amount to anything,” “you’re never to be trusted again”? Whose failure stories do I love to retell as a way of paying them back? Have mercy on me, Lord.I know you’re calling me to be wise, but I also know you’re calling me to love others as you love me. Many times and certain people, I simply do not want to love with gospel love. Forgive me and free me. For none of us is beyond the need of your grace and none of us is beyond the reach of your grace. Jesus, give me a much bigger heart. So very Amen I pray, in your chain-breaking slave-freeing name. -- Scotty Smith

A Dancing Heart!

Wish I had written this but I'm glad I follow Scotty on Twitter so I got to read this:

About Scotty Smith
Scotty Smith is Founding Pastor of Christ Community Church in Franklin, TN and a Council member with The Gospel Coalition. More… Scotty Smith5:01 am CT

A Prayer for a Dancing Heart, and Feet

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever. Ps. 30:11-12

Lord Jesus, was there ever a king more into dancing than King David? His victory over Goliath was the inspiration for singing and dancing by many in Israel (1 Sam. 21:11). When the ark was returned to Jerusalem, he danced before the Lord with all his might, and very little modesty (2 Sam. 6:14). It’s obvious he wrote this psalm as a dancer for other dancers, whose joy at the dedication of the temple was simply uncontainable.

But Jesus, you’re the real Lord of the Dance. Though King David didn’t realize it, his work and joy point to yours. You’re the only monarch who can turn the wails of our sin and brokenness into the dance of hope and joy. You’re the only ruler merciful and mighty enough to replace our hearts of stone with hearts of flesh. By your cross, you’ve removed the filthy garments of unrighteousness that we might be clothed us with the white robe of your own righteousness. Astounding . . . astonishing . . . and so very true.

How can we not sing and make music to you in our hearts? How can we possibly remain silent and still, in response to who you are and everything you’ve done for us, Jesus? Forgive us when we, like the elder brother, remain smugly on the outside of the house of redemption—off the dance floor of your reconciling love (Luke 15:25).Cause us to hear the Father speaking to us right now: “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours” (Luke 15:31).

Indeed, Lord, forgive us for confusing reverence with rigor mortis. Forgive us for giving you ardor-less order when we worship you. Forgive us for living more by our temperament tests, Myers-Briggs profiles, and personality types than by the lyric, music, and dance of the gospel. Free us from giving you a measured response to a measureless gospel.

One day, King Jesus, we will give thanks to you with all our might. All personal inhibitions, cultural limitations, and ecclesiastical prohibitions will be gone. May that great day of liberation have much greater impact on this day’s celebration. So very Amen we pray in your grace-filled and gladsome name.