Heaven's Gate

Two years ago this morning marked the end of one of the sweetest experiences of my lifetime.  With my siblings (except for my brother Ed who had already walked through death into everlasting life) and most of our spouses, I spent ten wonderful days walking my wonderful Daddy right up to the gate of Heaven!  It was truly amazing, and a model for the death experience in a Christian family if circumstances permit.

I know circumstances don't permit in every case.  That August Saturday 23 years ago when Ed walked into Heaven, I was 3 states away and only got there after he was gone. His death taught me a lesson about death: that death (especially when it appears untimely from a human perspective) is HARD!  Ed was a Marine of Marines!  He was many other things too and my closest sib in age.  He had served in combat in many war theaters including Vietnam for 3 "tours" including one while he was still a midshipman at the US Naval Academy but that's an interesting story for another time.  He had stared death in the face with nary a scratch. 

Three weeks after he retired from the USMC he was bush-hogging his pasture on the farm where he retired with his family in NC.  He didn't know his life on this earth was almost over that Saturday morning.  He planned to begin the next phase of life with a new job and to continue building his farmhouse.  God had other plans:  the tractor turned over and crushed his chest.  He was in Heaven a few hours later. We celebrated his life and worshipped our great God who gave him life and then took it away at his memorial service a few short days later!  At the end of that service, we sang Handel's Hallelujah.  It was Hallelujah time even when it didn't feel like it!

22 years later on an August Tuesday we celebrated eternal life again at my dad's memorial service.  We sang hymns.  We were comforted with God's Word and truth as two sons-in-law pastors and another pastor led us.  We remembered a life well-lived!  For me, the memorable thing about Daddy's Heaven journey wasn't that worship service.  It was the days leading up to it.

July 26 my brother called and said Daddy had a large sub-dural hematoma (blood clot on his brain).  They were moving him to the main hospital and operating as soon as possible.  We begin the trek from Pittsburgh to SC early the next morning and went straight to ICU.  And, so it began........

Mother and Daddy were living in my sister's home.  After the surgery it became increasingly apparent that Daddy wasn't going to climb the huge mountain back to a measure of health.  It was just too steep a climb with advanced Parkinson's and all the rest!  A week later on August 1st we took him home in an ambulance with hospice. 

In the hospital and at home we were Team Robeson.  We walked shoulder-to-shoulder, heart-to-heart watching the winding down of Daddy's life on earth.  We prayed.  We sang hymns.  We cried.  We hugged.  We talked and remembered.  We said many things to Daddy and each other - those things of the heart that need words.  And, then early Sunday morning, August 5th, we all stood around his bed with our dear mother and waited at Heaven's gate for him to take that final step from this life to the next!

Death is what it is.  It was never meant to be in God's good creation.  Sin brought death.  And so, we all die.  But, for those who walk with Jesus who trust in Him ALONE, He is the Way to eternal life!  That's the comfort beyond death, and it IS enough!
*picture is from newspaper shortly after Daddy's return from war.  He is holding his Japanese sword and me.

Death Really Isn't the Big Bad Wolf!

You get the drill: Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down. So he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down.

That's how death is for many - It's the Big Bad Wolf coming and blowing the house down! Death REALLY, really isn't the Big Bad Wolf! Death really, really doesn't have to blow the house down. Death comes knocking on the door and Death is knocking on the door of this house today. It may be today. It may be tomorrow as one day soon Death will come to take my dearly loved Daddy away into eternity but the house won't fall down because we all know we will see him again - straight and tall, no Parkinson's, no pain, no subdural hematomas, no brain surgeries, no hospitals, no intensive care or doctors or morphine. All that stuff goes away in eternity!

When my thoughts fly away I start thinking about a world without Daddy and I barely can. But when it's all said and done, the house (as in family) will stand because we stand together in the strength of the One Who conquered death and Who promises to make all things new! (Rev. 21:5)

In the Midst of Life ...........

No blogs since July 17th. Sorry but it's all about death in the midst of life..........
My heart and body have been totally absorbed first with a wonderful visit from three hugely loved grandchildren. And then, the day they returned home I got a call on my way home from taking them that my 91-year-old father with rapidly advancing Parkinson's had a subdural hematoma. He had emergency surgery that night in Greenville, SC.
We've done the intensive care bit and then a private room. They (the hospital folks) were wonderful partially because they do their job well and also because my brother is a consultant helping them develop their hospital system technically, philosophically and in leadership and team concepts.

[Just a side-bar: He's gotten a real upfront and personal look at life in that hospital system in the last 8 days.] From the private room we moved to a two-room suite. Since there are 6 children with spouses, 21 grandchildren (all but three with spouses) and 29 great-grands, we are a formidable crowd! AND since there are no cabbages in the bunch - well, you get the drift!
Long story short is that the sub-dural (which was very large) caused pretty extensive right-sided weakness and just seemed to my dad too high a mountain to climb. He is ready for heaven and wants to go there. He's getting his wish as we brought him home several days ago under hospice. As I try to put the sequence into time it seems like it's been a year since Wednesday, another since Monday and two or three since last Thursday!
This journey is one of the most amazing experiences of my life! Trust me that my life has been filled with many varied amazing experiences. My youngest sister posted on her FB page this week that this day ranks right up there as one of the worst. For my money it seems like this week has been filled with worst days - if that's possible!
Through it all there are wonderful snapshots of amazing love and tender grace! Here's just one for tonight: Earlier this week when Daddy was still taking tiny bits of liquid, I was giving him a few drops of coffee. Our granddaughter Abby, 10, touched my arm and asked if she could give it to him. I handed her the spoon. It was so precious to see her tenderness and love - a picture I'll carry in my heart!
It is so strange and wonderful being on this island of death in the midst of life and traveling this journey with my dear brother and sisters and their spouses and our children and children's children! This is a treasure beyond telling! Sola Deo gloria!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day - my favorite holiday!
I've always loved Valentine's Day! Maybe it's because the love in relationships is SO important to me!
One of the great love examples in my life is the love my parents have for each other - sets an incredibly high bar for what love in marriage needs to be.
My friend Jolene posted this personal story on her blog today and I share it and my comment with you just because what she said touched my heart so deeply:

Mom’s Valentine’s Day Wish
Posted on February 13, 2012 by Jolene Philo and borrowed by me February 14, 2012 so I could share with you.

When Mom and I kept our standing lunch date last Tuesday, I mentioned that our next lunch would fall on Valentine’s Day. “That’s kind of fun, Mom. What would you like for Valentine’s Day?”She thought for a few seconds. “Well, what I really want for Valentine’s Day I can’t have.” She fiddled with her coffee cup. “So I might as well not mention it.”“Go ahead,” I encouraged her. “What do you really want?”“What I really want is a few more years with your dad before his mind went…” She paused and moved her fingers in a circle at the side of her head. Her brow furrowed, and her blue eyes looked sad. “…you know, before he was…”“I know,” I whispered.“He wasn’t with me that way long enough,” Mom sighed.I nodded, not knowing what to say. There are no words for Mom’s loss. Dad’s diagnosis of multiple sclerosis at age 29, less than 10 years after their marriage. The love of her life struck down by multiple sclerosis. The end of her dream of being the wife of a county extension agent and mother to an increasing brood of kids. The loss of the bread winner, the protector, and leader of the family she loved so much and taking on those roles for the next 38 years as Dad slowly failed and finally died at age 67.Now, 15 years after his death, what does Mom want for Valentine’s Day?Not chocolate.Not flowers.Not a card.She wants a few more years with her husband as he once was.I looked at her, across the table, and said, “We can’t know what life would have been like if he hadn’t gotten sick. But I do know the life you gave us was a good one. You raised us well.”She nodded and smiled. “I did a pretty good job, didn’t I?”“You did,” I agreed and helped her into her coat and out the door.Hiram’s off tomorrow, so we’re going down together to see Mom. We’ll take her to lunch at Culver’s, one of her favorite places to eat. Mainly because she loves their frozen turtle custard.Over dessert, we’ll tease her like Dad did. We’ll talk about his love of ice cream, his silly jokes, his infectious grin, the goofy songs he loved to sing, the cribbage rules he invented as he played.Compared to what Mom has lost, lunch at Culvers doesn’t seem like much. But perhaps, sharing memories of Dad and indulging in the laughter and dessert he loved will bring him to her in some small way. Perhaps, over frozen custard, we can give Mom a memory of what she’s wanted for Valentine’s Day for years.

Ann Holmes on February 14, 2012: Jolene –This is SO sweet and SO true!My parents are 91 – married almost 68 years. My mother has advanced dementia and my dad has Parkinson’s. He has only been able to acknowledge her dementia for the last year – denied it for years – as it was too painful to acknowledge. They love each other with an incredible love – sit as close as they can get (with a wheelchair between them) and hold hands! Daddy just wants to live longer than Mother does. He is her center in many ways. I hope you had a wonderful lunch with your mom. I love your idea! Ann

If you are married, then I wish this kind of love for you! If not, don't settle for less than this kind of love! It IS the greatest human love and is a glimpse into heaven!