Did I mention that I HATE Alzheimer's?
I hate and miss the loss of relationship! I rail against the long slow good-bye! I wish for heaven and Jesus to come back soon. And more.........
Today is my birthday. On my birthday for all these years since I left home the phone would ring - usually first thing in the AM. It would be my parents (until last year when my dad was newly gone to heaven) and a chorus of "Happy Birthday" would ensue! It wasn't good music by most standards but by the standard that matters to me, it was music to my ears!
It always ended, Happy Birthday, Ann Austin, happy birthday to you! Last night - a day early - that's not how it ended for the first time, the new normal (until there is no call at all).
Instead, when it came to my name, there was dead silence! My mother didn't know who was on the other end of the phone. She knew when my sister dialed the phone in that split second, but she didn't know just a few short seconds later. The fog had descended again!
The fog of Alzheimer's is there more often than not! It's a wild and crazy world for my precious mother! It's a very sad, random world for those who love her!
Life's transitions - some are good; some are painful! NOT to sermonize, but I'm having to preach the Gospel to myself today, I have to remind myself, Self, God is good all the time! All the time God is good! Even on days like today and nights like last night!
I still hate Alzheimer's - just for the record!