Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Forgiveness Is...OR NOT!

Forgiveness isn't saying, “What u did 2 me is ok.” It's saying, “I’m not going to let what u did 2 me ruin my happiness forever.” --Dr. Jerry Weichman

Sorry, Doc, but you stopped just a bit short of the mark. It IS true that forgiveness is not condoning the wrong that has been done to you! It is true that a part of forgiveness needs to be moving on and not getting stuck in the muck and mire of all the pain and loss! BUT the more part is that forgiveness - principally so that you can move on - is also promising and making the commitment to yourself and to that other person that you will NOT bring that particular offense up again against that person or rehearse it in your own mind and heart. THAT is how to be free, forgiving and forgiven!
What happens if and when the perpetrator does you wrong again? Is your forgiveness this time a "get out of jail free pass" for next time? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Then it's time to reassess and possibly renegotiate with the offender but that may or may not come to pass. For the now, moving on means leaving that pile of crap just where it needs to be left - at the feet of Jesus. He can give you the grace and strength to pick up, forgive from your heart and move on! He knows and understands ALL about what it takes to forgive! That's what He is ALL about!

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