Life Stinks!

Last week I had a wonderful opportunity to visit my sister but it wasn't a social call. She and her busy pastor-husband are caring for my feeble, elderly parents in their home. I was there to be an extra pair of hands because my brother-in-law had to be out of town.
It is a 24/7 kind of job with minimal (a few hours a day) help from home health aides. It is physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually heart-wrenching! It involves taking care of practical needs - day and often night - that children just don't usually have to do for parents. It involves enduring the pain of dementia and severe Parkinson's. It is losing parents who are loved, respected and honored because the bodies are there but each day and each week brings further decline and increased need for care. The reality is that having meaningful conversation or getting wise counsel is gone and never coming back!
From my earliest memory both my parents spent time each day reading the Bible and praying and having daily family "worship." Their decline - as I realized last week - includes the fact that neither ever holds their Bible to read and pray. They still attend church but never discuss meaningful things that impacted them in the service. They are no longer able to connect in that way.
There's more but you get my point................ And I know what I describe is the experience of life in many homes where one or more family members have some disability. It's real, it's demanding, it's draining, it's constant and more! Great love doesn't impact the needs or change the demands! The hearts of parents or children are twisted with all the pain and loss! Nothing is as it was meant to be! Everything is broken and needs to be fixed and the reality is that no fix will ever happen in this life. The reality is that ONLY Jesus can make all things new re His promise in Revelation 21:5 - And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. But knowing that while living in the reality of the present pain is almost impossible!I
I spent last week providing a small piece of respite care. If you don't know, respite care is providing short-term, temporary relief to those who are caring for family members who might otherwise require permanent placement in a facility outside the home. My piece last week was really support service and encouragement for my sister as well as love to my parents.
My brother, my four sisters and I along with our spouses take great joy in providing care for Mother and Daddy so they can remain at home. But mostly I'm the chicken related to the breakfast menu while my sister is the bacon big time! The chicken provides an egg and moves on to another day. The pig provides the bacon to his mortal harm. That's the HUGE difference between the rest of us and my sister and her husband!
Last week I found myself so tired that I mostly kept going knowing I would fly home and catch up. My sister would just keep going!
I understood intellectually what respite care is and does prior to last week. I know something of what it means to be pretty involved in caring for a church member or friend for an intense period of time. But I can say emphatically, I have an indelible understanding after last week that sends me to my knees to pray over and over for my parents, for my sister and her husband. I also know I need to plan to go again soon!
Life stinks and there's no getting around that for some because every day brings new, painful reminders!

Long Time - No See - New Year

I'm involved in a journey. It began in 2008. My good friend is dying of cancer. It is a special gift to be walking this journey of pain with her and her daughter.

Today Joni Eareckson Tada writes in her daily devotional about New Year resolutions and 2 Corinthians 4:16: Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

My friend is outwardly wasting away. The cancer has a death grip on her body. My prayer for her and her daughter is that they will discover the secret of God's inner renewal. It's the only way to make this painful journey with peace and confidence!

Cancer is an ugly disease. Unseen it winds its nasty tentacles through organs, tissue and bone until it chokes out life. There are treatments like chemo and radiation. There are drugs for the pain. There are friends like me for loving support, but the truth is that none of these stop the deadly onslaught of the disease process once it is well-established. The body outwardly and inwardly wastes away.

The ONLY hope to hold onto is God's restoration of the heart!

On His way to Gethsemene and betrayal, Jesus spoke words of comfort to His disciples. He knew they would soon desperately need the truth of what He spoke. He said, "Don't let this throw you. You trust in God, don't you? Trust Me. There is plenty of room for you in My Father's home. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on My way to get a room ready for you? ... I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from Me." (John 14:1-6, The Message)

Jesus was promising "heart renewal" for now and for ever. That's the only hope to hold onto - Jesus, the Road to God and heaven! He's the only path to heart restoration! He promises to make "all things new" (Rev. 21:5) - even bodies riddled with cancer!