Sweet Sorrow

Sweet Sorrow.........I like that!  I saw it in a novel I was reading, and it's so true of life. 

• My mother has advancing Alzheimers.  When I go to see her, it's a sweet sorrow.  She still knows me when I'm in front of her but may easily forget I ever came when I am gone.  Sweet sorrow!
• My brother's grandson (6yo) was recently diagnosed with a large brain tumor.  Being there during his surgery and spending lots of family time was just that - sweet sorrow!
• 2 good friends are moving into assisted living.  This is radical life change but to a safer place - sweet sorrow!
• One who seemed a friend betrays and lies and walks away with no remorse - and we have to trust it is sweet sorrow!
• A baby dies before he is ever born - Can that be sweet sorrow?  How? Why?
• A child is born with multiple disabilities - sweet sorrow? How can that be?
• The list is long and could go on and on.  It's makes no sense unless and until.......

What makes it sweet sorrow? 

Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
    I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
    When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
    it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,    The Holy of Israel, your Savior.   --Isaiah 43:2, The Message

Isaiah 43:2 covers the rest of the list - sweet sorrow - because we never walk along when we walk with God!

You Will Never Walk Alone

Along life's road
There will be sunshine and rain
Roses and thorns, laughter and pain
And 'cross the miles
You will face mountains so steep
Deserts so long and valleys so deep
Sometimes the Journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember
I want you to know

[Chorus]
You will never walk alone
As long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way
You may feel you're far from home
But home is where He is
And He'll be there down every road
You will never walk alone

The path will wind
And you will find wonders and fears
Labors of love and a few falling tears
Across the years
There will be some twists and turns
Mistakes to make and lessons to learn
Sometimes the journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember where ever you may go

Jesus knows your joy, Jesus knows your need
He will go the distance with you faithfully!    --Point of Grace

 

 

A Cup of Cold Water

I went to church yesterday at A Restoration Church, Pittsburgh.  No surprise there!  That's where you can find me on any given Sunday morning!  Yesterday was different: we had music, singing, a good sermon on Joshua 22, great time with our church family, and Holy Communion.  And, that's where things took on a whole new flavor........

At A Restoration Church, Pittsburgh, we work very hard to include, to welcome, and to make feel special every person who comes.  As my husband passed the communion elements, the passing of the bread went as usual.  Then he began to pass the wine/grape juice.  I wasn't looking behind me, but apparently a lady shook her head at him and must have quietly told him she couldn't have it.  He knows this particular lady has a number of really significant health challenges.  She hasn't been attending very long. He quietly said, I'll be right back.  The accompanist kept playing.  We meet in banquet rooms in a corporate facility.  He went over to the sink and filled one of the communion cups with water and took it over to her. When everyone was served, and he was back in front, he raised his cup to indicate we would all drink together (as is our custom).  As he did, I saw the quick start of tears in his eyes.  For all of us, and obviously for him, it gave totally new significance to a cup of cold water given in My name!  

Comfort for Dis-abled Heart!

A number of years ago I drove from Richmond up to Northern Virginia to watch two of my nephews in a wrestling match.  I had never been to a wrestling match before so had no idea what I was getting into.  It was a regional competition so there were many competitors there.  As I sat in the stands looking out over a pretty large gymnasium, it occurred to me that the wrestlers resembled worms wiggling after a spring rain ALL OVER the gym floor!  Except that my nephews were somewhere in the mix, I could hardly imagine being there.

As I understand it, the object of the match is to maneuver your opponent in such a way that he cannot twist out of your hold and actually is pinned to the mat for a certain count.  In professional wrestling there are throws that apply techniques involving lifting the opponent and throwing or slamming him down.  I am certainly no expert, but none of it looked like something I personally wanted to do.  It wasn't even something I was all that eager to watch on any regular basis!

This morning I ran across a verse in John 14 (The Message). I'm thinking that my limited experience with wrestling may provide some clues to the meaning:  Don't let this throw you. You trust God, don't you? Trust Me.  These are the words of Jesus (vs. 1).  He spoke them to His disciples on the night before His crucifixion.  Quite possibly He spoke them as they walked along following the Passover meal they had eaten together on that Thursday evening.  They were on their way to a garden of olive trees tucked away on the western slope of the Mt. of Olives. 

I don't know if the words follow chapter 13 in exact sequence. Perhaps so; perhaps not.  (Note:  Chapter and verse divisions were not part of the original text.)  Chapter 13 ends with Peter's declaration that he wants to follow Jesus wherever He is going. Jesus tells Peter that he actually can't follow Him where He is going.  Peter is most insistent that he does want to follow the Master and that he is actually willing to die for his Master.  Jesus' response, Really? You'll lay down your life for me? The truth is that before the rooster crows, you'll deny me three times.

Chapter 14 begins, Don't let this throw you!  It struck me today that perhaps Jesus is referring to Peter's vulnerability and dis-ability to even stick up for Jesus in the few short hours of that night.  Perhaps Jesus is already encouraging Peter - not that it's okay not to stick up for Jesus, but that there will be life beyond that failure!  And the next words explain WHY:  You trust God, don't you?  Trust me.

For my dis-abled heart today I took comfort.  Life beyond failure is beyond me, but it is never beyond the ability of the One who is worthy of all trust and His Son Jesus!  When I trust Him with it ALL - all the failure, all the pain, all the seeming success, all the confidence, all the dis-ability THEN the implied promise is that it is never the end but rather the opportunity to begin again - not because of me, but because of the One who loves me and died to set me free!  Don't let this throw you! You trust God, don't you? Trust Me!

On a scale of 1 to 10.........

I know just how you feel!
Did you ever let these words pass your lips? We might think we know, but there's NO WAY we can get that far under a person's skin and into their heart!
A friend who lives in a power chair told me recently, Nobody knows how hard it is to be this disabled! And she is that disabled with a disease she didn't ask to have, was born with and knows is progressing rapidly. NOBODY - I mean nobody - can know how SHE feels even someone else in somewhat similar circumstances.
The thing about pain is that it's a lonely business! We can't share! I have my own pain stories. I know how many times I have wished (probably not on my most spiritual days) to "zap" someone else with my pain so they could see how intense it is.
Just in the last few days another friend said, Everyone has their own problems! She was feeling the intensity of the pain in her life. 
There is no meter to measure one person's pain against another person's pain. This isn't bridge where one card can trump another. This is real life lived on the razor's edge!
I absolutely hate to answer the question that doctors and nurses love to ask, On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain? I think the question is totally useless as every person/patient handles and perceives pain differently, and there's no factor for that fact. There have been times when my physical pain was so intense that I wanted to answer 15!
There is a story (which I thought was attributed to D.L. Moody but the web says either Persian proverb or unknown and the picture another source) about a man who had no shoes and felt very sorry for himself until he met a man who had no feet. It's all about perspective! It's all about who's inside the pain! And, clearly, some pain is worse than other pain! Having a baby or a kidney stone or an attack of pancreatitis are infinitely more painful than a sore throat. But, that being said, the person with the sore throat doesn't have a kidney stone so the sore throat is the pain of the moment.


And no, you don't know how I feel and I don't know how you feel! What matters is whether you and I care more about someone else's pain than our own!

O, by the way, I had time to write this blog post just now because I got a pain reprieve from the dentist. I was supposed to have 2 fillings today but the dentist office has no electricity! Darn! :o)

What I Learned from Jimmy!

His name was Jimmy. He is my very first memory of a special needs child. His parents - Don and Merle - had waited and waited for him and were ecstatic over his coming! I was a young child myself when I met Jimmy so I don't know a lot of details. He had a very large head and mostly just lay in his crib. He was a hydrocephalic baby.
Hydrocephalus is an abnormal accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid in the ventricles of the brain. The resulting increased intracranial pressure causes an enlarged head, seizures, developmental and mental disability. Jimmy had all of these.
I didn't know anything about disabilities. The only other disabled person I knew was my grandfather who had two artificial legs. I knew he took his prosthesis off when he went to bed as I saw them there once or twice. They might have been scary except that they were just a part of my beloved granddaddy with their wooden and then plastic legs and leather straps. Besides, I didn't know my grandfather was disabled. He was definitely differently abled but did NOT consider himself disabled in ANY way. And he didn't act disabled in any way either. So Jimmy was the first person I remember knowing was disabled.
I was in Jimmy's home on a fairly regular basis as our parents were good friends, and we went to the same church. It was sad to me that Jimmy was different from other babies, that he would never change in the way other babies grow and develop. But what impressed me much more than Jimmy's limitations was the love in that home. Jimmy was incredibly loved and celebrated. His room was the center of the home and full of light and joy!
I don't remember how long Jimmy lived but, one day, I heard that Jimmy had gone to heaven so I expect to see Jimmy again some day.
Since then I have known many other people with a wide range of disabilities. Some of them are dear friends! Some are members of my family. But, my take-away from Jimmy and his parents is that disabilities can be celebrated and should be! God makes each one of us special and in His own image!
In the New Testament Paul says: 
²¹ The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” ²² On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³ and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, ²⁴ while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, ²⁵ so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. ²⁶ If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
²⁷ Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. (I Cor. 12:21-27)

In a Quiet Home on a Quiet Street .........

Breakfast Tuesday morning, February 19, 2013 in a quiet home on a quiet street - two people were sitting at their kitchen table - a little "old" man and a little "old" woman. Suddenly their mentally ill 26-year-old grandson appeared behind his grandmother and stabbed her with a Bowie knife leaving her dead. He said the Archangel Michael told him to do it.
That little "old" man and his little "old" wife happen to be friends of ours. We came to know them at a time of real crisis in life and ministry for us! They reached out with heart hugs and more! They truly cared!
That's one reason my friend - that little "old" lady - is in heaven today! They truly cared! They cared for a daughter and grandson who needed a live-in family. They cared for their larger family. They cared for the family in the church the little "old" man pastored. They cared for people - peers - like us who needed a friend to help bear a heavy burden! They are/were the REAL deal!
About a year ago I was teaching one morning and heard a voice going by in the hall. It sounded like my friend. As soon as class was over I went looking for her. I found her at the copy machine doing one of the things she did best - helping!
As we talked I discovered that one of the most adorable boys I've ever taught - who was then in one of my Latin classes - was another grandson - smart and "cute as a bug in a rug"! How cool is that?!
But, back to the other grandson........ also very, very smart (possibly brilliant) but very conflicted and tortured by forces that mentally and emotionally are destroying him from the inside out! He is a special needs individual with pretty huge issues - his life on a downhill spiral - and now caught, trapped by his own twisted mind into doing the unthinkable and irretrievable!
We live in a terribly broken world and we are ALL broken! Most of us don't manifest our brokenness like this young man. One of the tragedies of this story is that some things are never going to be fixed in this life - no matter how hard we try! It's that brokenness thing!
This little "old" man courageously went public in a television interview soon after this tragedy took place. He wants to raise awareness for special needs families! He wants to "make a difference" for other families and individuals impacted by special needs (disability)! So he and his daughter shared their pain!
It may well be too late for this grandson. It is definitely too late for this grandmother though she is now in a much better world where there are no more tears, no more pain, no more brokenness of any kind!
We never know what goes on in quiet homes on quiet streets - the tears, the pain, the brokenness! We can determine to make a difference - even if we only take baby steps - to reach out with heart hugs and more! That's what the world around us needs NOW while we wait for that day Jesus promised when He said, I am making all things new! (Rev. 21:5)

A Word is A Word is A Word!

Words do matter! Word choices matter! It matters if the hearer thinks one definition and the speaker has another meaning in mind! NOT much communication happens in that case!
Recently Dr. James Dobson featured on his radio program a couple who discussed "Raising a Handicapped Child."
Handicapped ...... Special Needs ....... Disabled ........... Affected by Disability ...... and more. Which is the best practices term?
No criticism intended or implied to either Dr. Dobson or Focus on the Family or the couple interviewed - just some personal observations related to my journey in disability ministry:

• In the last six years my thinking has undergone a radical transformation in relation both to individuals affected by disabilities, to myself in relationship to them and to HOW and WHY and WHEN the Church of Jesus Christ should and must work out the mandate to be inclusive to all!
• Luke 14:12-14 is the core passage from Scripture which addresses this concern. AND the fact that Jesus spent almost His entire ministry hanging with just such individuals is both inescapable and compelling as a mandate!
• Terms matter - What is the best term to use for this discussion? Frankly I'm still studying on that one. To quote a famous someone, my thinking is "still evolving" evaluating terms and process related to special needs ministry.

Some years ago I read an article in a publication from a nationally known special needs ministry. They actually prefer and advocate "affected by disability." The article described the difference between "handicapped" and "disability." I have never forgotten the distinction:

We are ALL handicapped in one way or another. To use the article's example - I am 5'5" tall. It is impossible for me to reach the top of my kitchen cabinets without some assistance. That assistance may come in the form of a chair or stool or climbing up on the counter top or even something else. I overcome my handicap with a "tool" intended to increase or augment my height.

A disability is a lack of function in life which may be physical, mental, emotional or even spiritual. We are all disabled in one way or another if we generally include "brokenness" as a qualifying category. There is wisdom, however, in having a "best practices" term related to individuals dealing with the wide range of physical, mental and emotional diagnoses or "labels" (for want of a better term). There is significant discussion about hidden disabilities in this "field." We all have hidden disabilities in the sense that all of us are broken in one way or another until Jesus makes all things new on an awesome future day! But I think we need to be careful not to appear to minimize the HUGE pain experienced by individuals and families whose lives are affected by disability 24/7 with real diagnoses and needs.

I don't pretend to know the precise best practices term. I leave that determination to minds much senior to mine in pay grade. What I do know is that there needs to be open discussion about words related to describing disabilities so we communicate without doing harm! My friend Dr. Steve Grcevich of Key Ministry recently blogged his own thoughts on this very subject.

The ultimate goal is to find and use terms that are inclusive, respectful, clear, person first, relational and effectively communicative because words DO matter! There are far too many wedge words in life for the church before the watching world not to take the meaning of words seriously!

Spell or Live?!

This week I read something by a person involved with disability both personally and in ministry - have no clue who as I read a lot these days. In the piece this person spelled stimming as stemming. Being the grammar/spelling queen that I am, my first response was a little "aha!"!
You know what? I don't like this part of me very much and I hope the process of sanctification is gradually whittling away the rough edges and even the heart of my "aha!" responses even if I hide them!
Just this morning I chanced upon stim in a wonderful blog post by the mom of a grown son with a disability - http://specialhappens.com/2012/06/01/a-view-in-the-mirror-a-familys-turn/?
The word reminded me of the other day. Once again - to my shame - I had another "aha!" that this person spelled stim correctly. What a stupid focus!!! Yes, that's exactly what I thought about my own heart and response!
In both cases the stem mom and the stim mom were talking about the same thing*: Both were talking about life as they live it!
Who in the world do I think I am to insert my little "Mrs. Editor" self into their world? It doesn't matter how a word is spelled, for heaven's sake! What really, really matters - in fact, the ONLY thing that matters - is faith expressing itself through love! (Gal. 5:6)

*Stimming is a repetitive body movement that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner - a continuous, purposeless movement. Stimming is one of the symptoms for autism although it is observed in about 10 percent of young children without autism. Many children with autism have no stims. Common forms of stimming among people with autism include hand flapping, body spinning or rocking, lining up or spinning toys or other objects ... and repeating rote phrases.

My Skipping Heart

Martin Luther wrote, "As long as we live there is never enough singing.”
I am neither a singer nor a dancer. Almost anyone is better at these two exercises than I am. That's just the way it is!
When I was in kindergarten I lived through the worse "academic" challenge of my career in learning and education. I have a "disability" and it was at screaming alert when I was 5.
Here's the deal: I am not very coordinated. Simply put, "grace" is NOT my middle name. Therefore I have never learned to skip - to dance with that hitched step and little bounce.
That's when the REAL trouble started! The teacher counted skipping at the top of "academic" achievement for kindergarten. So I was sunk!
I spent part of almost every day sitting on the steps to the upstairs in the teacher's house so I could contemplate my skipping and learn how to skip "better" or at all. It was a traumatic, terrible time!
I still can't skip all these many decades later! I'm okay with that! I'm also convinced that skipping (or not) can contribut absolutely NOTHING of relevance to my life! "To [skip] or not to [skip] is not the question." What really counts for time and eternity is not skipping! What counts is "faith expressing itself in love"! (Gal. 5:6) What counts is whether my heart can sing and dance AND skip as my faith expresses itself in love!
Lord Jesus, help me to live this day skipping, dancing and singing as I express my faith in love!

A Canine Heart Lesson

Our wonderful black Lab Susie left us two weeks ago. She isn't here, and we miss her terribly. She taught us lots of life lessons. Those lessons live on in our hearts!

Some time ago, I made some notes for this blog related to lessons we learned from Susie.

Susie didn't bark. We don't know if she could or if sometime before she came to us she lost that ability. We know she barked before she came to us. Perhaps she was so happy that she didn't feel the need to bark. Susie communicated with her eyes, her tongue and her "stance." When she wanted a treat she would "lick her lips" - it was a clear message. When we took her out to walk, she would "bound" down our driveway and keep looking over her shoulder to be sure one or both of us were following. She loved for me to run with her.

The night she died, she just kept looking straight into my eyes. I knew she was telling me something; I just didn't know what the awful truth was she was communicating. She was dying very soon. I think she knew that. I think she wanted to say, "Thank you for a wonderful life." I think she wanted to say, "I'm going away." All of a sudden her head fell and she collapsed. She was gone!

After she got so sick, she didn't bound down the drive any more. She would very painfully get up and get down very slowly.

One day not too long ago, I was walking her down our steep driveway. All of a sudden her ears stood straight up. I glanced down the drive to see a bunch of deer running across our drive much further down the drive. She didn't bark. But she knew and remembered younger days when she might have gone in chase of those deer.

Susie taught me a "heart lesson": There are people in my world who also have no voice. They may be almost "invisible" living in the shadows. Many of these are people affected by some disability - emotional, physical, mental and certainly spiritual. Susie taught me that I can "hear" and "see" those with "no voice" when God opens my heart! Susie taught me to watch for communication even when there is no voice.

That's what we are doing in ministry to individuals and families affected by brokenness. God is opening our hearts to hear and see - even the unspoken need. Who would think we could learn such a powerful lesson from a dearly loved old black lab?

William Cowper was disabled by severe depression and other emotional brokenness. He spoke in and through his pain in his wonderful hymns. In 1774 he penned these lines:

God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea and rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines of never failing skill
He measures up His bright designs and works His sov'reign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.

... Blind unbelief is sure to err and scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter, and He will make it plain.

I'm looking for God's wonders today! I want to hear His voice! I have learned that God's voice sometimes thunders and sometimes it's just a still, small voice. Either way my heart needs to hear and respond!

Ending or Beginning?

NOTE: Restoration Heart has been on an extended "vacation" due to neglect and the tyranny of the urgent! I'm back....................... !

There are many "endings" in life and it seems their "tribe" increases:

• Too little money and too many bills
• Loss of a job
• Loss of a home
• Lies, deceit, slander from "friends"
• Rejection by family and significant others
• Reaching the threshold of heaven personally or with a loved one
• Foolish choices and their consequences
• Growing old(er)
• Depression
• Disease and disability
• Taxes and the IRS
• Too much to do and too little time
• Unrelenting pain of all kinds
• Fear of the future
• Dillusion with government and alarming changes in society

All these circumstances and heart-breaking "milestones" happen and more beside! It may even seem like the end! You may wish for the end!

In the last two weeks, we reached "the end" with our beloved Susie. Susie was our black lab - 13 years old - and one of the greatest gifts we ever received! We never expected her to leave us so quickly and so suddenly. Exactly two weeks ago today our wonderful vet told us that "nothing matters any more." We went to the appoointment with a list of food and snacks wanting counsel on changes we should make or not. We left knowing it wasn't going to matter. Dr. Jim grabbed John's and my hands as we turned to leave the exam room with Susie. He prayed with us thanking the Lord for our wonderful Susie. She was sick beyond healing! No food or care was going to change her plight. Dr. Jim couldn't even hear her heart beat due to all the fluid that was in her chest and belly.

On a scale of 1 to 10 expecially up against the list above, losing our sweet Susie seems way down the list. BUT when our hearts are involved in the pain and loss we experience, the loss - the "ending" - the depth of the pain is HUGE!

Last night I watched a video - "When Disability Hits Home" - which features interviews with Chuck Colson and R.C. Sproul. Each man opens his heart about how his own pain over his seriously disabled grandchild "crashes" into his theology of the sovereignty of God and the ways of God. In the video Joni Eareckson Tada helps tell their stories as well as being living evidence of her own loss and pain. Joni, Chuck and R.C. all affirm their confidence in God!

Most people in our world would consider such devastating circumstances and heart pain clear evidence that God is absent and not benevolent or benign! NOT TRUE!

The truth is that no matter now final the end seems - no matter how pain may drive us to wish this is the end - It is NOT THE END! God is still God! God is still on His throne! God did walk into our world and put on our skin and live in our neighborhood in the Person of Jesus! (John 1:14, The Message)

The end hasn't come. It may be just around the next curve or miles down the road. That doesn't matter! For those who know and love Jesus the end is not the end anyway. It is the beginning of restoration of all that is painful and broken!

Jesus came to meet people - all kinds of people at his or her point of need. He acted to comfort the broken! He didn't just pat them on the head or shoulder and wish them well. He knelt to wash dirty feet. His healing hand touched blind eyes, mute tongues, crippled feet and hands and broken minds.

My heart prayer for you today is that God will reach into your brokenness - that brokenness that seems so final - and bring you restoration. Your brokenness and pain may seem beyond repair or escape. Hang on to Jesus! He WILL take care of you! He still kneels to wash dirty feet and touch blind eyes! Your broken heart matters to Him! Remember this isn't the end when it's the beginning of restoration. That's something ONLY God can do!

Disability Kayaking - Living an Adventure, Creating a Memory

Yesterday I went kayaking with some friends. My friend Carol went along. On the surface it was just some friends eating a picnic in a beautiful park and then kayaking a few miles down Pennsylvania's Youghiogheny River.

However this was a very special adventure and memory! Another friend and I first planned to take Carol kayaking, but our plan grew into an adventure and memory for several other disabled friends. All seven of us participated in the adventure and making a wonderful memory!

When I went into Yough Outfitters to pay for the kayak rentals, I told the young man at the counter that we only needed five oars as one person on the trip wouldn't be rowing. (The single kayak was privately owned with its own paddle) I explained that my friend walked with a walker and had a bad shoulder. I wish you could have seen the expression on his face. He said, "You are going to take her kayaking? Are you sure?"

I smiled and said, "Yes and it will work. We have a plan." When he continued to look at me as if I had three heads and an extra eye in the middle of my forehead, I said, "Trust me. It will work fine!"

Yough Outfitters rented us kayaks and transported us to a lovely park. We ate a leasurily picnic and then put in the Yough from the boat ramp. We ended up with seven people and four kayaks: three tandems (kayaks built for two) and a single kayak.

We stowed all our gear including two coolers in the four kayaks. Then we walked Carol from the picnic table across the grass and down a little incline. The wheeled walker she usually uses was back at the outfitters in our van. Two of us got on either side of her and were her "crutches." She also used her folding cane.

Our plan was to seat Carol in the front of a tamdem and then push the kayak into the water. With only a few lurches, Carol was soon seated and ready to roll!

All in all we had a friend with Altzheimer's, a friend who is blind in one eye and another friend who suffers from depression plus Carol who has Parenchymatous cortical degeneration of the cerebellum. She has severe issues with her balance and a number of other challenges.

We put into the Yough River at the park and floated down the river a couple of miles back to Yough Outfitters.

The original plan was for another friend and me to take Carol kayaking. We had a plan as much as you can ever plan for something totally "out of the box" and very challenging.

When we were several miles into the trip, the youngest member of our party decided to jump out and "swim" for awhile. Carol told me she'd like to swim, too. Amazingly Carol was able to sort of fall out into the water without turning the kayak over. She brought two swim noodles. We rigged those around her and removed her life vest. Some of the others held the two kayaks. Two of us got on either side of Carol in the water. We walked her and floated till we were just in sight of the last set of gentle rapids.

When Carol suddenly "fell" over into the water, some in our group were shocked as they didn't know it was planned. The water was mostly shallow enough to walk except for some deeper spots.

When we got close to the rapids, we steered our kayak and Carol over to really shallow water. We were able to push Carol back over the kayak and then turn her so she was seated properly again.

On the way home we all agreed we'd had a blast!

It's so cool to be able to give an adventure and a memory to someone who couldn't do kayaking without considerable effort on someone else's part.

Just getting Carol to the picnic table and then back to the boat ramp to put her in the kayak was challenging and interesting.

By the end of the day, we were all tired, happy and ready to do it all over again another day!

And as Porky Pig says, ""Th-th-th-that's all folks!" - for now!

Disability and Shoes

What in the world could shoes have to do with disability and people affected by disability?

Recently the news in Pittsburgh has followed a disabled Ohio man's story. Apparently he arrived by plane at Pittsburgh International a week ago. No one was there to pick him up due to miscommunication issues. SO he took off on his own walking. He walked 18 miles into Pittsburgh and has apparently been living on the streets until yesterday when a policeman recognized him near a convenience store. In the interim he has done a LOT of walking! The man is now home again in Ohio safe and sound.

The news article about his being found talked about his black dress shoes, no socks and blisters from so much walking. The man wasn't complaining but apparently doesn't plan to do much walking except next door to see his neighbor for some time to come. I was impressed that this disabled man has such an incredible attitude about his swollen, sore feet as sore feet make me cranky! His statement to the police officer (and the condition of his feet) was that his feet were swollen and blistered from all the walking, in black dress shoes and without socks, but that they didn't hurt.

At A Restoration Church we have a very good friend who is also disabled. He had an encounter with another disabled man on the street in a small community near Pittsburgh where both of these men live. The other man actually took off my friend's shoes and socks on the street. He didn't steal the socks and shoes but just apparently has some kind of fascination with feet. The local police know this "shoe man" well. They said he tries to take their shoes off, too.

Who would think of shoes as a disability issue - especially a social issue? My friend has a very good attitude about his own encounter with the "shoe man." My friend now understands that there is a healthy boundary to draw about his own shoes, socks and the "shoe man" or anyone else. In fact he calls the "shoe man" "Triple F" (translation: "Foot Fetish Freddy")!

At A Restoration Church we really care about people affected by disability. We particularly and intentionally want to love these dear folks with the love of Jesus. We want to reach out to them with the hands and heart of Jesus in practical ways. Apparently that includes shoes! Who would think it?

Obviously there are therapeutic, medically related issues regardidng shoes and disability for folks who are paralyzed, etc. but who would think there are social and safety issues as well?

The lesson in these stories is that I have a lot to learn about this HUGE area of caring about people affected by disability. God is teaching me and the rest of us at A Restoration Church some things we can learn from our disabled friends! That's a good thing!

Disability, Chocolate Bunnies and Easter Eggs

What does disability have to do with chocolate bunnies and Easter eggs? Well, nothing really! But persons affected by disability - which, in a sense, includes everyone because we are all broken in various ways - need so much more than chocolate bunnies and Easter eggs. Chocolate bunnies might fix the chocolate craving temporarily. Easter eggs are dyed pretty colors and hidden for happy children to find. But neither chocolate bunnies or Easter eggs offer hope for change to people affected by disability.

Disabilities profoundly change the way life is lived. Disabilities affect more than the individual - the whole family is affected. Children affected by disability are often not included in "normal" activities like an Easter egg hunt for a variety of "reasons." These exclusions contribute to the isolation many who are affected by disability feel. Sometimes people with disabilities find that they have no friends. They are often over-looked or intentionally excluded because of their disability.

It’s an ugly reality of our society that perfection is honored and disability is distained. It is so sad that often people who can dress up and fix up and live to such a standard of “perfection” are really very broken people themselves.

People affected by disability are just like anyone else. They want friends. They need meaningful relationships. They deserve being treated with dignity and value. They want to be able to contribute to life and family in significant ways. They want to be included. They want to make significant contributions.

Just the other day I was at an office where a young man affected by disability was being coached in sound editing using certain software. He sat diligently with his headphones carefully listening and making adjustments. Being given a significant task and knowing he is making a difference is huge encouragement for him!

The real truth is, we all need each other. People affected by disability can teach the rest of us so much about endurance and hope and persistence. They are living parables of how to face challenges. We can all learn from each other. We all can contribute to the completeness of the whole.

Yesterday was Easter. For many people Easter means little more than candy and egg hunts.

For people affected by disability Easter should be the most wonderful day in the whole year. Easter is our celebration of Jesus coming back to life. The hope of the resurrection is the best news of us all and especially for people affected by disability! Jesus promises to “make all things new.” That includes broken bodies and minds! That includes broken relationships! That includes broken dreams and dashed hopes!

Jesus promises to “make all things new” (Rev. 21:5). This ULTIMATE makeover begins with Easter, continues when we journey with Jesus through life until that day in eternity when He will totally “make all things new”!

I have my own missing and/or broken body parts so I’m looking forward to “being made new.” My “issues” pale in significance when I consider how some live. Joni Eareckson Tada who has been a quadriplegic in a wheelchair for over 40 years wrote a devotional I received by email just today:

“My girlfriend arrived to get me up and ready for the day. It had been a rough night - sleeplessness, and stabbing, razor-sharp pain in my neck and shoulders. When I told her about it, she sighed and said, "Joni... I'll bet you just can't wait for heaven." As she brushed my hair, I sat and dreamed about what I've dreamed of a thousand times: my eternal home, just over the near horizon. … Some people look at my wheelchair, hear my enthusiasm for heaven, and conclude that it's a death wish. Now it's true, when I was first injured, I only viewed heaven as a place where I could get back what I had lost. I would receive hands that worked and feet that walked and even danced. … My attitude changed as I studied the Scriptures. I realized that heaven was mainly focused on Jesus, not me. (Joni Eareckson Tada, Pearls of Great Price, 2006)

And Joni knows what I also know: Heaven is the “getting” place for NEW in every sense of the word!

Disability and Extreme Home Makeover

The Easter Sunday 2009 segment of Extreme Home Makeover last night was fascinating. George and Barbara Kadzis opened their hearts and enlarged their family circle to include six disabled children from China. Melody is blind. Julia is deaf. Martin's right arm and hand are deformed. Phoenix anbd Celeste have cleft palates in the process of restoration. Aileen was orphaned by disease and desertion and facing emotional challenges as a result.

Barbara is a lifelong teacher. George worked as a dentist in a prison. Their resources were limited. Their home in Florida was badly damaged by a hurricane, and then George contracted terminal brain cancer. His dying wish was for his family to have a safe, appropriate home to live in.

George and Barbara didn't know a word of Chinese when they adopted all but their one biological son Chris. To communicate they used the medium of music. Several of the children played musical instruments: piano, violin, flute, zither and guitar. Julie dances to every note though she is deaf.

Extreme Home Makeover and their vast crew and main character designers madeover the Kadzis home in one week. During that week George was dying in the hospital. He died three days after his family moved into their new home.

I have lots of questions about the extreme home makeover concept and how much or little help it gives permanently. How can people who need so much pay taxes on this new and much more expensive home? and more.

But what was compelling about last night's episode wasn't the new home. What was compelling was the hearts - George and Barbara's obvious love for all their children and the reciprical love of their children. George and Barbara offered a whole new world and life to their six adopted children. To do so, they made significant sacrifices. Their example of love radically and obviously impacted their community.

That started me thinking. People affected by disability are all around us. The question is: how are we taking these who have such great need into our circle of love and friendship? Do we care enough to take the risk and step out of our comfort zone? Obviously George and Barbara benefited as much from their adopted family as did the children they adopted. By not including people affected by disability in our lives we run the risk of missing an incredible opportunity to be blessed and to be a blessing! Here's to warm hearts willing to include others who may have a different way of being into our circle and hearts and homes!

George and Barbara did in their home and family what A Restoration Church is doing in being a church in the South Hills of Pittsburgh - reaching out with genuine love and acceptance! George and Barbara needed the help of the crew for Extreme Home Makeover and their community. At A Restoration Church we need God's help to push us out of our comfort zone to make a radical difference in our community.

Barack Obama and the Special Olympics

Recently our new president got himself into hot water over bowling in the White House alley. Appearing on Jay Leno's late night show, he compared his score to "Special Olympics."

"It's like - it was like Special Olympics or something," he said, smiling.

There has been much appropriate outrage over his remark. Stupidity is the best excuse he has! I fear his gaffe may stem from much deeper roots than stupidity, however.

One political figure with close ties to disability in her own family described the President's remark as "shocking." Her own view of persons affected by disability is that they are "our world's most precious and unique people."

It is both sad and interesting that those who think the most of themselves and their abilities disdain and discard as insignificant the "precious and unique people" of the special needs community.

People with special needs often have no voice in our culture. Shame on the church of Jesus Christ for not aggressively working to include all these who have a different way of being! By their very differences, they have so much to contribute. They have much to teach the "able."

At A Restoration Church we intentionally include individuals and families affected by disability! It has nothing to do with the Special Olympics. It has everything to do with completion! Paul said, "... you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." (1 Cor. 12:27)

Church Planting, Disability Ministry and Icy Roads!

Last night I made a discovery about church plantiing. Church planting especially with the vision to minister to individuals and families impacted by disability and icy roads have some things in common!

Winter wonderland describes Pittsburgh's look of the last several days! The huge snowflakes chasing each other to see which can get to the ground first are beautiful. The way below freezing temps keep our white world in place.

Yesterday late afternoon I drove to take supper to a friend. Her daughter - just arrived home for winter break from college - needed a ride to get a prescription filled. So she and I set off - the "back way" - for the pharmacy. We were fine getting there even though my friend commented that she couldn't believe the roads hadn't been salted. I replied that I thought cities were trying to save money by not spreading salt "recklessly" this year - that I read in the paper or heard on the radio that Chicago spent many millions just clearing their roads in one recent snowstorm. We got to the store, discovered they wouldn't process her new insurance card and started home on the same back roads.

We came to the top of the last long hill. A small deer almost darted in front of us at the same moment I realized we were driving down a skating rink road. It must have been black ice covered by a layer of snow. Fortunately we were the only car either way as we mostly slid down the hill. I knew I wasn't in control of the car. I was just trying to stay on the path. At the bottom (where the sign says opposing traffic does not stop) I had no choice but to steer carefully to the left onto her home street which is fairly flat. Fortunately there was no near on-coming traffic!

When we pulled into her drive, she said to me, "That was pretty scary!" That was the moment I processed exactly how scary it was! I guess I'm so used to living in the exciting fast lane of life that it didn't get my adrenaline flowing as much as it did hers.

My husband and I and a brave band of others are starting A Restoration Church in the South Hills of Pittsburgh. It's not our first church plant experience, but it is clearly the most exciting. A Restoration Church is unique in our vision to take the Gospel to and to bring into the Kingdom intentionally and especially individuals and families impacted by disability.

Sometimes our forward progress seems well-planned, but mostly this church plant is a lot like that icy road last night. It's a really exciting ride - even dangerously exciting at times - with Someone (that would be the King of the Kingdom) else in control. We are in forward motion with rapidly beating hearts being faithful and working hard for the King to build His Kingdom further here in Pittsburgh!

The analogy may break down at some points, I'm sure, but the essence is that church planting can be a lot like my ride in my car with my young friend down the icy hill last night! We are going where many people don't dare go. We are makinig new friends and taking them along for the ride of their lives. We are taking risks and living on the edge of our comfort zones (and even stepping outside our comfort level) - all for the sake of building God's Kingdom!

Church planting and icy roads do have some things in common!

Disability, Disease and Death - WHY?

This week I had an encounter with death. This week I also encountered disability and disease. My good friend's beautiful Siberian Husky died Monday night. Several good friends live with significantly serious disability. A good friend has terminal cancer. Other close friends live with blindness, neurological disabilities or diseases and the prospect of their pain increasing. Some of these friends will never be better this side of heaven.

Disability, disease and death happen. Why? Where is God? Is He asleep at the switch (or even sending a text message like the engineer in California recently was when his train collided with another train killing and seriously injuring many passengers) when this kind of pain comes?

The WHY? question is our feeble attempt to make some sense out of pain and suffering and death. More often than not, we don't know the answer to WHY? We scream "WHY?" into the darkness of death, disability and disease. Does this kind of terrible pain happen because God is just not powerful enough to stop the big stuff or because it slips past His notice?

Are disability, disease and death part of God's plan? Or are they the result of mis-laid plans or even evil intent? Are disability, disease and death horrible, tragic coincidences? Is evil spinning out of control? Is God either unwilling or incapable of stopping these big three: disability, disease and death?

Rabbi Harold Kushner wrestled with the WHY? question following the death of his son. He concluded that often there are things God just isn't powerful enough to stop - like disability, disease and death. Rabbi Kushner's conclusion is certainly not what the Bible says.

Joni Eareckson Tada writes in her devotional book Pearls of Great Price: It's one thing for God to deliberately let something awful happen for reasons we may not understand, but it would be another for God to wish He could have prevented it, but have one hand tied behind His back. Either God rules, or Satan sets your life's agenda and God is limited to only reacting. In which case, the Almighty would become the devil's clean-up boy. Although God would manage to patch things up, your suffering would be meaningless. ... No, the real tragedy is that any Christian would settle for such darkenss with the light of the Bible shining so clearly. If God didn't control evil, the result would be evil uncontrolled. Our suffering has meaning because " ... His kingdom rules over all." (Psalm 103:19) (from "The Real Tragedy," November 30th)

Nothing else makes sense! Nothing less gives comfort in the midst of disability, disease and death! Only the sure knowledge that God is God and that He is working His plan in the world and in individual hearts brings peace and comfort in the midst of struggling with disability, disease and death!

God's promise is sure: "For I know the plans I have for you ... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) God always keeps His promises! We can count on that no matter what we encounter. We can be sure that no matter how dark the darkness disability, disease and death may bring that God is there with us in the pain and darkness. He sees and knows what is happening. He is still on His throne, and He does have BOTH hands on the switch. Nothing happens (not even disability, disease or death) outside His plan! His plan is to give hope and a future and not to harm us ever!

Dancing With Disabilities

"Dancing with the Stars" is a popular TV show. Among other things the show is designed to pair an "ordinary" person with a celebrity. These two then develop (with professional assistance, of course) at least two dance routines. They practice together and compete against other celeb/non-celeb couples. Apparently the show is mesmerizing for for those who track its progress until one couple finally wins.

At A Restoration Church we are dancing with disabilities! Actually close inspection reveals that we all have some area of brokenness in life. Those of us who have more obvious brokenness are labeled by society as "disabled." What I have learned is that "disability" isn't so much about not being able in some aspect of physical, mental or emotional function as it is about having limitations and challenges outside the "norm." It may be a distinction without a real difference since we all deal with limitations and challenges to some extent. The real distinction comes in the significance of the limitation and challenge.

My friend is blind in one eye. She is significantly more impaired than I am with my sight challenges and limitations in both eyes. I can turn on a brighter light and wear my glasses. My friend's blind eye doesn't benefit from either light or lens. However I probably struggle more with my "sight issues" than she does with hers. She accepts her blind eye and actively and aggressively finds ways to compensate. Not only that, she demonstrates joy and humility in the process.

Dancing with people who have disabilities is far more exciting than "dancing with a star" on TV. Dancing with disabilities is literally people choosing to partner together to share and care for each other in a faith family. The lateral dimension of this dance is enriched by our differences and what we are learning from each other. The vertical dimension of this dance is how we participate together to worship and serve God. In our worship and service each partner in the dance brings his or her own unique contribution to the beauty of that dance. And I imagine God smiles while He watches because, of course, He is our Choreographer!

"Dancing with the Stars" is a glitzy production designed to capture the imagination of the observor. Our dance with disabled people at A Restoration Church isn't about fancy costumes, well choreographed moves and drama. It's about REAL! It is real people willing to share real needs, real joys, real pain and even real failure together in this dance so that we encourage and support each other. It's about learning God's ways and showing God's love. And most of all, it's about God's peace and joy working their way deeply into our hearts in this radical community of faith called A Restoration Church!

A Parable of Disability

Two guys met at a camp this past summer in California. This is a very special camp. It is sponsored by Joni and Friends International - one of their Family Retreats. These retreats are structured so that individuals and families affected by disability can come for a week of fun and refreshment and spiritual renewal. Each individual or family who comes gets a special friend assigned just for them - just to "be there" for them during the week. "Being there" includes being a pal, sticking together, talking, sharing the adventure of Family Retreat and practical help as needed. The "friends" (called "short term missionaries/STM's" by Joni and Friends) are individuals (some with obvious disabilities themselves) who come to serve during this week - at their own expense!

Family Retreats (and being an STM friend) is an incredible experience! It is amazing how two strangers can be assigned to each other and how each pairing becomes such an great opportunity for giving and receiving love!

There is a picture of these two guys in my mind. I take it out often just to smile over. They both have big smiles on their faces! One of them is in a wheelchair; the other is riding on the back of the same wheelchair. The one in the wheelchair has a spinal cord injury and brain trauma which have changed his life forever. The one riding on the back also has a spinal cord injury from his birth process gone bad. He too has to use a wheelchair (or sometimes a skateboard) to transport his paralyzed lower body around. Both guys are young adults. They are wheeliing over the grass - two buds together!

Both of these buddies knows his limits but neither is focusing on the limits of his disability in this sunshine moment. Both are celebrating just hanging out together - an experience made all the sweeter by their shared disability!

Parables are stories told to teach truth. This "parable of disabiity" can teach us all:

• to enjoy all the life we can pack into each moment
• to focus on what we can do rather than on what we can't
• to be willing to give love and support to a brother or sister in need - thinking outside-the-box
• to receive what someone with a different perspective on life can show us

These two friends wheeling across the grass weren't thinking about their limits in that joyous moment. They were celebrating life and friendship. They were showing a better way of handling life's challenges - even the challenge of disability! They gave me something to remember. They unknowingly challenged me to live life with healthy balance. They gave me a whole new way of seeing in their enjoyment of life on that sunny summer afternoon in California!