In a Quiet Home on a Quiet Street .........

Breakfast Tuesday morning, February 19, 2013 in a quiet home on a quiet street - two people were sitting at their kitchen table - a little "old" man and a little "old" woman. Suddenly their mentally ill 26-year-old grandson appeared behind his grandmother and stabbed her with a Bowie knife leaving her dead. He said the Archangel Michael told him to do it.
That little "old" man and his little "old" wife happen to be friends of ours. We came to know them at a time of real crisis in life and ministry for us! They reached out with heart hugs and more! They truly cared!
That's one reason my friend - that little "old" lady - is in heaven today! They truly cared! They cared for a daughter and grandson who needed a live-in family. They cared for their larger family. They cared for the family in the church the little "old" man pastored. They cared for people - peers - like us who needed a friend to help bear a heavy burden! They are/were the REAL deal!
About a year ago I was teaching one morning and heard a voice going by in the hall. It sounded like my friend. As soon as class was over I went looking for her. I found her at the copy machine doing one of the things she did best - helping!
As we talked I discovered that one of the most adorable boys I've ever taught - who was then in one of my Latin classes - was another grandson - smart and "cute as a bug in a rug"! How cool is that?!
But, back to the other grandson........ also very, very smart (possibly brilliant) but very conflicted and tortured by forces that mentally and emotionally are destroying him from the inside out! He is a special needs individual with pretty huge issues - his life on a downhill spiral - and now caught, trapped by his own twisted mind into doing the unthinkable and irretrievable!
We live in a terribly broken world and we are ALL broken! Most of us don't manifest our brokenness like this young man. One of the tragedies of this story is that some things are never going to be fixed in this life - no matter how hard we try! It's that brokenness thing!
This little "old" man courageously went public in a television interview soon after this tragedy took place. He wants to raise awareness for special needs families! He wants to "make a difference" for other families and individuals impacted by special needs (disability)! So he and his daughter shared their pain!
It may well be too late for this grandson. It is definitely too late for this grandmother though she is now in a much better world where there are no more tears, no more pain, no more brokenness of any kind!
We never know what goes on in quiet homes on quiet streets - the tears, the pain, the brokenness! We can determine to make a difference - even if we only take baby steps - to reach out with heart hugs and more! That's what the world around us needs NOW while we wait for that day Jesus promised when He said, I am making all things new! (Rev. 21:5)

What's the Answer to Newtown?

Yesterday our collective hearts were broken and our minds were stunned with news of the terrible tragedy in Newtown, CT! There are no words that reach deep enough to encapsulate the grief of parents who kissed their children good-by yesterday morning and sent them off to school never to see them alive again!

Some are making ridiculous statements about the shooter and his life circumstances. Let me be clear: autism (or any Autism Spectrum Disorder including Asperger's Syndrome) does NOT cause someone to do what Adam Lanza did yesterday - if he did indeed was somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. But, Adam Lanza is not where our immediate focus should be!

This may seem controversial but neither should our immediate focus be on the personal and corporate loss in Newtown, CT though my heart and prayers go out big time to the entire community and especially to those who have empty places in their homes and hearts due to this tragedy!

Nor should our focus be on increased restrictions on gun ownership!

Our focus should be on the heart!  The tragedy of yesterday is purely and simply a heart issue!  Sin is ugly - ugly to the bone! Ever since Adam and Eve made a very bad choice in the Garden of Eden, sin has been the greatest problem we face. We may not like that reality but our discomfort doesn't change the truth. The truth is that we need Jesus! We need Him to change our hearts! We need Him to begin the process of restoration - one heart at a time.

I read wise, compelling words yesterday from Mercedes Cotchery:

I do not think gun control is the issue.Man's heart is the issue. People are spiritually depraved on their own. Apart from God any of us can and will do all kinds of things. That is the real issue. We want to worship God however we want to, yet also want to be surprised when things are out of order. We cannot have it both ways. We either abide in his word or sit and watch all hell break loose.

We don't need more laws and fewer guns. We don't need to presume that people who present differently than we do are fundamentally flawed and therefore a danger to themselves and others. We need to focus on the heart - our own first and work from there!

⁵ He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Rev. 21:5)

We need to pray that the King of Heaven - Jesus - will begin that process of restoration in me and you! That's the ONLY answer to pain, suffering and loss!

 

 

 

A BIG Shout-Out for Parents!

CBS and ABC news are reporting a horrifying incident in New York city yesterday around 2 PM. A 7-year-old little girl, who her mother thought was sleeping, apparently crawled out her bedroom window and was dancing on the window air conditioning unit. (The entire sequence is captured on video.) THREE STORIES UP. She slipped and fell three stories. A bus driver named Steven St. Bernard saw her falling. When he was interviewed yesterday said, I just prayed, "Lord, please help me catch her." He did catch her with God's help.

That is wonderful but not the focus of this post. "The rest of the story" as Paul Harvey used to say: This little girl has autism. The focus of my heart today is that there are thousands and more children under the age of 18 in the United States (Some sources say as high as 1 in every 88 children somewhere on the autism spectrum.) who have some form of autism.

These children have parents. Usually one or more of their parents are participating in caring for this child which is often an extremely challenging and extremely intense responsibility. Like for the little girl's mother, just a moment can make all the difference.

I know personally that just about any child can get into risky situations. One of my sons has been a risk-taker from birth including being born three months early. Just one story: when he was six he hid behind my car and I backed over him accidentally. I could tell a thousand or more other stories that are almost as dramatic. Fortunately God took care of both of us like He did this little girl! No question that Mr. St. Bernard was in the right place at the right time by God's design.

I totally get that even vigilant parents cannot always prevent accidents. It's like what my grandmother used to say, It is much harder to raise race horses than cabbages but then you have more when you get through! My guess is that this little 7-year-old is a race horse just like my son!

This mother probably has many, many challenges with her daughter. The point of this post is to raise awareness in some small way for the parents of children everywhere and especially children with some form of autism. These moms and dads are heroes in my book! They face exhausting challenges all day long!

The challenge for the rest of us is to search out ways to encourage these parents!

My sister and her husband are care-takers for my very fragile 91-year-old parents. It is a 24/7 kind of job that requires incredible love, vigilance and energy! I recently spent a week helping and came home exhausted! During that week I realized that a very important thing to do was and is to encourage and appreciate my sister and her husband! I know they were grateful for two more hands, but I also know they appreciated the encouragement I could offer with words and actions.

As with the old TV show, Mission Impossible - Your mission for today (and beyond) - if you choose to accept it - is to do what you can to support a parent with a special needs child especially a child with autism!. Here's a great big shout-out for them far and wide!

Spell or Live?!

This week I read something by a person involved with disability both personally and in ministry - have no clue who as I read a lot these days. In the piece this person spelled stimming as stemming. Being the grammar/spelling queen that I am, my first response was a little "aha!"!
You know what? I don't like this part of me very much and I hope the process of sanctification is gradually whittling away the rough edges and even the heart of my "aha!" responses even if I hide them!
Just this morning I chanced upon stim in a wonderful blog post by the mom of a grown son with a disability - http://specialhappens.com/2012/06/01/a-view-in-the-mirror-a-familys-turn/?
The word reminded me of the other day. Once again - to my shame - I had another "aha!" that this person spelled stim correctly. What a stupid focus!!! Yes, that's exactly what I thought about my own heart and response!
In both cases the stem mom and the stim mom were talking about the same thing*: Both were talking about life as they live it!
Who in the world do I think I am to insert my little "Mrs. Editor" self into their world? It doesn't matter how a word is spelled, for heaven's sake! What really, really matters - in fact, the ONLY thing that matters - is faith expressing itself through love! (Gal. 5:6)

*Stimming is a repetitive body movement that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner - a continuous, purposeless movement. Stimming is one of the symptoms for autism although it is observed in about 10 percent of young children without autism. Many children with autism have no stims. Common forms of stimming among people with autism include hand flapping, body spinning or rocking, lining up or spinning toys or other objects ... and repeating rote phrases.

"Reality" Education? Sad Stuff!

A news item today is about the five-year-old autistic kindergartener named Alex Barton. Alex has autism. By definition, autism is a neurological developmental disorder that presents in "inappropriate" and even socially unacceptable verbal and nonverbal communication and deficient social interaction. Autistic children are locked in their box of autism to varying degrees depending on the severity of their particular disability or "different way of being."

Alex's mother learned what was happening at school when Alex came home and told her that 14 people voted him out of the class. She went to the teacher to investigate. The teacher confirmed that she had Alex stand at the front of the class while his classmates described what they disliked about him. Then they voted 14-2 to kick Alex out of class.

There is no mention of whether Alex had a vote in this process. Probably not.

It is almost too much to wrap my brain around - a teacher deliberately subjecting a child to ridicule from his peers and then a vote to reject that child! One newscaster commented that she didn't know who to feel most sorry for in the story - Alex or his classmates who are being taught by such a despicable "social experiment." Incredible!

Then the story twists and turns down other bizzare paths:

• The teacher, Wendy Portillo, has tenure.
• The St. Lucie County School District Superintendent Michael Lannon said there is an on-going investigation. He stated that their findings will be released in the next 2 - 3 weeks. "We will not push things under the rug and we will not stick our heads under the sand. We will deal with it," Lannon said.

"...deal with it..." ? Wonder what that means: fire the teacher, reeducate the other students, soothe the hurt in Alex's heart?! "Deal with it" might be impossible except to put a bandaid on the problem. Alex and Alex's mother will probably not soon forget. The other students have been done a grave disservice as well.

The teacher stated that her intention was to correct Alex's behavior. (For the record, both the teacher and the school principal knew Alex is autistic.) Such shenanigans on the part of ANY authority figure are hardly going to correct behavior - ridicule and shame aren't the path to correction and restoration ever!

So, what comes next in this world gone mad we live in? Is this a new social order slithering out from under a rock? Do people now get shamed and ridiculed and then voted out of the church or the family as well? This isn't "reality"! This is madness!!!

What needs to come next is change and repentance! This kind of thinking as exhibited by Alex's teacher is the sad consequence of a world with no moral or spiritual underpinnings tied to God's standards as we find them in the Bible. It is the consequence of selfishness grown gigantic.

We live in a world badly in need of restoration! The kind of restoration we need begins in the heart! Too bad one of the two children who voted "NO" didn't stand up and say, "This is just plain mean!"

This isn't "reality" - this is the stuff of nightmares!

Banned from Church by Law for Autism

Did you read or see the item in this morning's news about the autistic Minnesota boy who has been banned from church? Adam Race has autism. His family sits on the back pew of the catholic church where they have attended for 12 years. Yesterday AM when Adam's family started to church, the sheriff of their county stopped them and told Adam's mom that if she even stepped one foot inside the church she would be arrested.

Since last Sunday (Mother's Day) the parish priest sought legal advice and obtained an injunction against Adam and his family barring them from attending their church, St. Joseph. Father Daniel Walz sought the restraining order after the family attended Mother's Day services at St. Joseph's. Mrs. Race was actually ticketed for appearing at church on Mother's Day.

AMAZING!

There is another church. This one is right here in the South Hills of Pittsburgh - Southminster Presbyterian. They have just completed the lengthy process of confirmation for a daughter in their church who also has autism. Her name is Hannah. She is 16-years-old. Hannah doesn't speak so structuring a confirmation program she could complete so she could join Southminster and be admitted to membership and be allowed to take communion with her family was a challenging process. The staff and members of Southminister are justly proud of their efforts in Hannah's behalf.

Autism is a difficult problem for a family and a church. Autistic children are often so tortured within themselves that they inappropriately express themselves - particularly in tightly controlled social environments such as a worship service. St. Joseph's chose the easy way - just ban the Race family from church. Then the priest and others at St. Joseph can pretend "the problem" named Adam just went away. All in the name of God couched in terms of taking care of the greater good of others who also worship at St. Joseph.

Southminster chose a more challenging path. I recently attended a Saturday seminar at Southminster on autism. It was specifically designed to address the issue of the church in regard to autism. I went to the module on "Welcoming." A number of ideas were floated about how to integrate and welcome children and families effected by autism into the life and worship of the church. Injunctions and tickets and courts and officers of the law were not mentioned even one time!

I'm not the mother of an autistic child, and I can only imagine the pain of loving your child and wanting your child to experience the best of life even through the prism of autism. I have a good friend who has an autistic son who is over 50. I have worshipped with my friend and her husband and son. It was a privilege and a pleasure!

I am the mother of two grown sons. Through the years my sons didn't always behave well in church. I got lots of "well-meaning" advice about what to do and how to do it beginning when my first son was less than a year old. I just had boys with "ants in their pants" but they weren't always still or quiet in church. I just did the best I could.

I imagine Adam's mother would say the same thing. I'm doing the best I can!

Somehow I can't picture Jesus calling in the law in a case like Adam's. We know Jesus met many individuals who struggled with all kinds of issues - some of which made them "socially unacceptable" in the eyes of society in the first century. But, over and over, the Biblical record attests that Jesus stopped, even interrupting what He was doing to give aid and bring healing.

There is the account of one son who even threw himself into fire at times. When his desperate father approached Jesus, Jesus immediately stopped and healed the son. Jesus took time for a specific conversation with the father and then Jesus took the boy by the hand and lifted him up to stand healed in front of the crowd. (Mark 9)

In the South Hills of Pittsburgh another church is beginning. It is A Restoration Church. A Restoration Church is committed to restoring lives through the Gospel. We welcome people from all walks of life, all circumstances - the physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually broken. We offer love, acceptance, forgiveness, hope and love. We know that in truth we are all broken and badly in need of God's loving restoration. God's love, grace and mercy bring radical restoration to us all! That's what we're all about at A Restoration Church. If you know your own brokenness, then we have a place just for you! We all need God's fixing process! I suspect some of God's loving restoration needs to be applied in Minnesota, too!

Pittsburgh's Terrible Towel and Disability

Yesterday a Pittsburgh legend died - Myron Cope. Myron Cope was a legend.

• His unique voice and broadcasting style became the voice of Pittsburgh Steeler's football games.


• His ingenuous idea of the "Terrible Towel" will live long into the future. The Terrible Towel is essential gear for Pittsburgh Steeler fans! It is a small yellow towel printed in large black letters - "Terrible Towel." The Terrible Towel is twirled by loyal Steeler fans at memorable moments or just any old time during Steeler games or Steeler celebrations.

Reading Myron Cope's biographical information yesterday gave me some further insights into the man. I learned that he has an autistic son Daniel who lives at Allegheny Valley School here in Pittsburgh. Myron Cope donated all the royalties and rights from the sales of the Terrible Towel to the Allegheny Valley School.

What strikes me most about Myron Cope isn't his fame as a sports announcer or even his invention of the Terrible Towel - what impresses me about Myron Cope is that behind his fame was a family dealing with disability. And Myron Cope had a heart to help other families dealing with disability. He donated all the rights to the Terrible Towel to the Allegheny Valley School.

I went to the web and read about Allegheny Valley School. At just one of their locations here in Pittsburgh, they take care of 184 residents in five residential buildings and six group homes. Daniel Cope is one of those residents. I was stunned to read that those residents range in age from 15 to 87.

The "disabled world" is a large people group in our culture. Many families impacted by disability struggle with all the challenges their loved one and they face. There is a lonliness in that struggle.

There are some wonderful ministries stepping up to bat to reach out a helping hand. One of them is Joni Eareckson Tada's Joni and Friends Family Retreats held all over the country for a week just for the entire family of a disabled person to come and be specially loved for that week. My husband and I had the opportunity to observe one of those camps last summer. I will never forget what I saw and learned. I saw a level of love in action that was beyond incredible!

What strikes me most about Myron Cope is that he knew the pain disability brings to a family as well as the joy of loving that disabled person. I wonder if many people knew this rest of the story about Myron Cope.

We aren't Allegheny Valley School, but A Restoration Church is just beginning in the South Hills of Pittsburgh because we too realize that there is a world of brokenness in many forms. We want to reach out a loving, helping hand to bring God's love, grace and mercy to that brokenness wherever we find it.

We welcome you to be part of God's story as we pray, work, worship and reach out with God's love!