It was the worst of days, AND it was the BEST of days! It was the day we buried my mother just a few weeks ago. My mother was having the BEST of days as she began her new life in eternity with Jesus. I wouldn't wish her back for anything! Honestly, it was also the worst of days! It was the end of having a parent on this earth. I would never again hear her voice or kiss her cheek. I would never again look into those beautiful blue eyes and know she loves me no matter what! Did I mention I HATE death! I even think God means for us to hate death. It's part of understanding how much we need Jesus!
The memorial service was in the morning and the graveside several hours drive away in the afternoon. We have lots of family! I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers (one is in Heaven). We all married, and my mother considered the children she got by marriage as much hers as the ones she birthed. There were 21 grandchildren - all but 4 married. There are close to 40 great-grandchildren with several on the way. All in all in round numbers it's right at 90 immediate family, and all were there for the memorial service except for 2 moms who had week old newborn babies, and one grandson's wife who is having a baby soon. It's hard to be lonely in such a crowd of loving family!
We were all walking into the service together, and my brother told me to go first with our sons, their wives, and our grandchildren. Because John was helping with the service, I was alone. I reached my hand back for a granddaughter to walk with me. Only one saw and took my hand. She not only walked with me to the front row, but she sat as close to me as glue the entire time hugging me and being hugged.
On a day like that day when death intrudes into life is when it's easy to be lonely even in a crowd of loving family. I was that kind of lonely, and I needed the touch of a hand and hugs. God sent me that hand and those hugs! Thank you, Vania! And, thank you all for your hands and hugs on one of the BEST-worst days of my life!
There's a lesson for my heart here that reaches out: there is always someone who needs a hand and a hug but it takes eyes to see and a heart to understand!
Two years ago this morning marked the end of one of the sweetest experiences of my lifetime. With my siblings (except for my brother Ed who had already walked through death into everlasting life) and most of our spouses, I spent ten wonderful days walking my wonderful Daddy right up to the gate of Heaven! It was truly amazing, and a model for the death experience in a Christian family if circumstances permit.
I know circumstances don't permit in every case. That August Saturday 23 years ago when Ed walked into Heaven, I was 3 states away and only got there after he was gone. His death taught me a lesson about death: that death (especially when it appears untimely from a human perspective) is HARD! Ed was a Marine of Marines! He was many other things too and my closest sib in age. He had served in combat in many war theaters including Vietnam for 3 "tours" including one while he was still a midshipman at the US Naval Academy but that's an interesting story for another time. He had stared death in the face with nary a scratch.
Three weeks after he retired from the USMC he was bush-hogging his pasture on the farm where he retired with his family in NC. He didn't know his life on this earth was almost over that Saturday morning. He planned to begin the next phase of life with a new job and to continue building his farmhouse. God had other plans: the tractor turned over and crushed his chest. He was in Heaven a few hours later. We celebrated his life and worshipped our great God who gave him life and then took it away at his memorial service a few short days later! At the end of that service, we sang Handel's Hallelujah. It was Hallelujah time even when it didn't feel like it!
22 years later on an August Tuesday we celebrated eternal life again at my dad's memorial service. We sang hymns. We were comforted with God's Word and truth as two sons-in-law pastors and another pastor led us. We remembered a life well-lived! For me, the memorable thing about Daddy's Heaven journey wasn't that worship service. It was the days leading up to it.
July 26 my brother called and said Daddy had a large sub-dural hematoma (blood clot on his brain). They were moving him to the main hospital and operating as soon as possible. We begin the trek from Pittsburgh to SC early the next morning and went straight to ICU. And, so it began........
Mother and Daddy were living in my sister's home. After the surgery it became increasingly apparent that Daddy wasn't going to climb the huge mountain back to a measure of health. It was just too steep a climb with advanced Parkinson's and all the rest! A week later on August 1st we took him home in an ambulance with hospice.
In the hospital and at home we were Team Robeson. We walked shoulder-to-shoulder, heart-to-heart watching the winding down of Daddy's life on earth. We prayed. We sang hymns. We cried. We hugged. We talked and remembered. We said many things to Daddy and each other - those things of the heart that need words. And, then early Sunday morning, August 5th, we all stood around his bed with our dear mother and waited at Heaven's gate for him to take that final step from this life to the next!
Death is what it is. It was never meant to be in God's good creation. Sin brought death. And so, we all die. But, for those who walk with Jesus who trust in Him ALONE, He is the Way to eternal life! That's the comfort beyond death, and it IS enough!
*picture is from newspaper shortly after Daddy's return from war. He is holding his Japanese sword and me.
Life! What is the stuff of your life? If you were to suddenly disappear, what would be left in the dust?
Almost four years ago, my parents left their wonderful home on the top of a mountain in NC to live with one of my sisters. Their age and their physical and mental challenges made the move long overdue!
We put off the HUGE, gigantic distribution of their stuff for almost three of those years. It is a gargantuan task! My brother catalogued - in an arduous process - all the 10s of 10s of pages of stuff and also took pictures. Finally, a few months ago we began a kind of family lottery - a two plus hour telephone conference each time rotating thro our ranks - 4 sisters, 1 brother - each making a choice and then moving to the next round.
We had session #5 last night. We had agreed last night to make two choices each in each rotation. It's all only stuff! We learned that lesson well as our parents modeled it for us! So, the most beautiful "stuff left in living hearts" is that there has not been even one single disagreement or cross word!
In many ways, this is a wonderful life reduced to a list. However, the real legacy is not the stuff! The real legacy is the relationships we share! We share a love for our parents (one who has since gone on to heaven) and for each other that clearly says, I love you more than I care about stuff! That's what's real!
I love you, my family, more than you know! Thank you for walking this wonderful, terrible road with me! It makes life reduced to this list not so painful!
The bottom line is that there are no UHauls going to heaven! And, when all the dust settles, all the treasures of this life will return to dust except for the treasures of our hearts! 19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)
